Posts by Samathan [Suspended]

Samathan

Feb 5, 2020

Writing Feedback / The distance between the rich and the poor is enlarging due to development of technology - Ielts 2 [3]

Well, in your introduction, I think you mean the fast-moving of technology has created ? Anyway, come to your essay, I can understand your structure and your personal viewpoint. However, I do not understand one thing. In your paragraph 2, you wrote: it is totally nonsense to assert that technological advancement is partly the reason of increasing rich and poor discrimination. So I understand that in this paragraph, you illustrate technological development do not increase the gap between the rich and poor. And in your next paragraph, you explained the way technology decrease the gap between these people. Therefore, I did not see anything writing about why people believe technology increase the gap ?? Please remember that this is the discuss both views essay, so you should describe both view and tell us your opinion instead of giving reasons to support your viewpoint.

Samathan

Feb 5, 2020

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 1 - Pie chart about population rate [4]

Well, first of all, I think you need to reduce the length of your essay as the point in Task 1 just about one third of the point in full Writing test. You should write to the maximum of 250 words or you don't have time in Task II. Second, I really like the way you express your ideas and make comparisons between two countries, not just listing the data. However, you should use more language of fractions and percentages and decrease the data (I think it is too much) . (two fifth -> two fifths)

Samathan

Dec 16, 2019

Writing Feedback / Studying history to learn from it - IELTS Writing Task II - Academic [3]

Topic :
Some people think studying from the past offers no benefits to today's life, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information for us.

Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

In this day and age, the benefits of learning from the past has always been an issue of debate to the public. While the supporters think history is a precious material to deepen the knowledge, the opponents consider studying history is meaningless activity. This essay will outline ideas from both views and illustrate why learning history is beneficial.

On the one hand, the protesters of the given notion contend history has a faint function. To be more specific, learning history requires people to memorize dates, names from different historical events and this knowledge are rarely used in the reality. Accordingly, it is more essential to focus on science and technology that bring relevant uses to present and even future. Furthermore, studying from the past is absolutely worth nothing. Particularly, if we actually conclude lessons from past events, history would not be filled with repeated mistakes. However, mistakes were made again in a circulation and that definitely does not contribute much to the present context.

On the other hand, history helps young people understand their own culture and how their culture and country have evolved. For example, by reading historical books, Vietnamese youngsters can know how their ancestors lost blood, sweat and tears to defend their land against foreign intruders. Therefore, a sense of pride and patriotism will also be slowly developed. Moreover, history helps us to avoid mistakes made by politicians or leaders which can cause disastrous outcome on our life. For instance, many economists have used old documents to return to "the great depression period" in 1929, in order to understand the tremendous effect of financial crisis and think of making practical solutions.

In conclusion, there are strong arguments for and against studying history. However, I subscribe to the view that history is a good source of collecting information and dodging mistakes.