Posts by Emily Chiang

Emily Chiang

Dec 30, 2019

Writing Feedback / Transformation in transportation infrastructures regarding the routes accessing to a city hospital [2]

Road assess to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010

The given maps illustrate several transformations on transportation infrastructures regarding the routes accessing to a city hospital between year 2007 and 2010.

Overall, there were three dominant adjustments conducted referring to vehicle access to the city hospital, including two added roundabouts, newly established bus station, and extra parking places.

It is evident that the previous combined parking lot provided for both the public and staff in 2007 was redesigned in 2010. The particular parking facility was divided into two individual sectors and made use by the citizens and hospital employees respectively. The staff car park was placed in front of the hospital building with the general public car park set on the side, each owning an entrance directly leading to the Ring Road and city hospital.

As is also observed, it was only available for people to drive or went on foot to city hospital back in 2007, while the newly constructed bus station contributed to an additional public transportation choice for the patients in 2010. In comparison to the simple pathways connection layout in 2007, the bus station was associated with two roundabouts located on Hospital Road, forming a transportation hub to disperse the car flow.

Emily Chiang

Dec 25, 2019

Speeches / A speech about white lie - can people tell lies in a good faith? [2]

I believe that after correcting and extending the sentences, it could be possibly lengthened to 3 minutes.
Anyways, below are my advice regarding the script you wrote.

1.Maybe replace "Very happy to make a speech" with "It's my pleasure to give a speech..."
"Whether people should tell lies..." to "whether one should ..."

2."Despite" that some ..., "I still believe that" a protective lie is necessary "for " some special occasions.

3.Story "of my own experience...". "One day," I was working "on" cell...

To be honest, the second paragraph would be a bit confusing to the audiences, you may want to modify several usages to better describe the story.

4.I lied to him "indeed", "however," I protected him and "prevented the embarrassed situation from happening."

You may also prolong the sum up section at the end of the speech, what do you think is wonderful about white lies and what would you recommend people to do while encountering similar situations.

Emily Chiang

Dec 24, 2019

Undergraduate / Good habits - what you learned from and felt during curricular and/or extracurricular activities [2]

Hi, here are some suggestions for you.

1.You may want to rearrange the proportions, emphasizing more on the lessons and achievements you gained instead of spending lines on describing the failure you've experienced. (for instance, shorten the last sentence in the first paragraph and instantly jump to the second where you illustrate your growth)

2.I would recommend you to give some actual examples in the second passage, regarding to how you established those good habits. For example, you might have done some improvements in certain fields, joined activities or clubs in schools...etc.

3.The word " failure" could sometimes be replaced with "frustration."

However, overall you own quite a great writing skill!

Emily Chiang

Dec 23, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS -Writing Task 1 : One country's exports value in various categories during 2015 and 2016 [3]

@kanzanism

Thank you so much for all the suggestions, I really appreciate it and will definitely keep on practicing for a better result!

Emily Chiang

Dec 20, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS -Writing Task 1 : One country's exports value in various categories during 2015 and 2016 [3]

export earnings (2015-2016)

The provided graphs demonstrate the transformation of export profits in terms of five export product categories in one country namely: petroleum products, engineered goods, gems and jewellery, agricultural products and textiles, by illustrating both changes in actual amount of earnings and percentage between year 2015 and 2016.

In general, four out of five export merchandises earning values experienced an upward trend from 2015 to 2016, except the one of gems and jewellery that decreased with a drop from approximately 43 to 41 billion. In particular, the petroleum products remained the most profitable among the five export goods during the time period, gaining 61 and 63 billion respectively.

As is observed from the given bar chart and table, the percentage of textiles value presented the sharpest upturn by 15%, which made it reach the total profit value identical to that of agricultural products in 2016 (32 billion). Whereas agricultural products value percentage merely altered by lower than 1 percent (+0.81%).

It is also noticed that the 8.5% rise in engineered goods value stands as second-place amid all percentage shifts, which brought its total earning (62 billion) gradually closer to the revenue of petroleum products(63 billion).