Chloeg
Jan 26, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts essay on land availability in countryside [5]
It is indeed the fact - Intro shouldn't be started like this
threat - add s (in intro first sentence)
Whereas, others hold an opposite opinion. I second my outlook - Wording should be fixed
and this essay has been addressed accordingly. - no need to have this
suffering from asthma could not breathe in ... - and can not breather and have to be submitted into local hospitals
On the contrary, few people support the idea of ... - stronger topic sentence
forced to stay on the streets and give both
Essay should be stronger to support points and more examples
It is indeed the fact - Intro shouldn't be started like this
threat - add s (in intro first sentence)
Whereas, others hold an opposite opinion. I second my outlook - Wording should be fixed
and this essay has been addressed accordingly. - no need to have this
suffering from asthma could not breathe in ... - and can not breather and have to be submitted into local hospitals
On the contrary, few people support the idea of ... - stronger topic sentence
forced to stay on the streets and give both
Essay should be stronger to support points and more examples