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Feb 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2 About Spending money on construction of new transportation or improving old systems [2]
Hello, teachers. I am preparing for IELTS recently. Here is my first try on an essay, which is from IELTS Cambridge12, Test7, Task2. Would you please give me some advice to improve it and a band? Thank you a lot:)!
Topic:
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transportation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Here is my essay:
Transportation construction has been a major concern for a long time. Needless to say, it is because planned transportation would boost a place's economy. Some people argue that we should spend a lot of money building new railways for very fast trains to connect cities, while some think to improve the public transportation we have already had so far is the first thing to do.
I totally agree with these two perspectives. Very fast trains do play an important role in promoting economic development, partly because they can combine business works in different cities in a country, and that will enhance the efficiency on working. The other reason is that people wouldn't be restricted by transportation from choosing their works. Some people, for example, may give up their dream jobs for the reason they want to live with their family, but cities where they live aren't the same ones in which they work.
The situation truly happened in Taiwan. We built High-Speed Railway, which is known as HSR, around ten years ago. From then on, cities have become more prosperous and the scales of companies been enlarged. On top of that, Students and people who leave hometown for their works can go home more often, and more and more people take HSR to work every day, so they can spend more time with their family, which both have strengthened family bonds.
On the other hand, though, improving existing transport systems is also an important fact that I cannot deny. We still have a few problems with them, such as traffic jams or too old public transportation. Spending money repairing them can build connections between urban and rural areas, and that can also bring benefits to a country. For instance, if people who were in rural areas could go to cities more easily, they would have more possibilities to be employed. Solving the problems of traffic jams could reduce the time which people spend on traffic, so they would have more time on their recreation or family.
In conclusion, I think they both can bring inhabitants wellfares, so both are important; we cannot spend money only on one of them. Therefore, the major problem for government is planning well for spending our taxes on new railway lines and old public transportation.
Hello, teachers. I am preparing for IELTS recently. Here is my first try on an essay, which is from IELTS Cambridge12, Test7, Task2. Would you please give me some advice to improve it and a band? Thank you a lot:)!
new railway lines or development of old public transportation?
Topic:
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transportation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Here is my essay:
Transportation construction has been a major concern for a long time. Needless to say, it is because planned transportation would boost a place's economy. Some people argue that we should spend a lot of money building new railways for very fast trains to connect cities, while some think to improve the public transportation we have already had so far is the first thing to do.
I totally agree with these two perspectives. Very fast trains do play an important role in promoting economic development, partly because they can combine business works in different cities in a country, and that will enhance the efficiency on working. The other reason is that people wouldn't be restricted by transportation from choosing their works. Some people, for example, may give up their dream jobs for the reason they want to live with their family, but cities where they live aren't the same ones in which they work.
The situation truly happened in Taiwan. We built High-Speed Railway, which is known as HSR, around ten years ago. From then on, cities have become more prosperous and the scales of companies been enlarged. On top of that, Students and people who leave hometown for their works can go home more often, and more and more people take HSR to work every day, so they can spend more time with their family, which both have strengthened family bonds.
On the other hand, though, improving existing transport systems is also an important fact that I cannot deny. We still have a few problems with them, such as traffic jams or too old public transportation. Spending money repairing them can build connections between urban and rural areas, and that can also bring benefits to a country. For instance, if people who were in rural areas could go to cities more easily, they would have more possibilities to be employed. Solving the problems of traffic jams could reduce the time which people spend on traffic, so they would have more time on their recreation or family.
In conclusion, I think they both can bring inhabitants wellfares, so both are important; we cannot spend money only on one of them. Therefore, the major problem for government is planning well for spending our taxes on new railway lines and old public transportation.
