Undergraduate / 'Immigrant to the United States'; I did my best to avoid alienating from my American peers [5]

I was suppossed to evaluate a significant experience in my life and its affects on me.
I chose the hijab, or the head scarf Muslim women wear.
But I can't finish it! Any suggestions, edits, etc?

As an immigrant to the United States, I did my best to avoid anything that would potentially alienate me from my American peers. Naturally, I vehemently resisted my mother's efforts to teach me about my native Pakistani culture; however, eventually, the guilt became too overbearing and I conceded - I became a hijabi.

In retrospect, I find it oddly fascinating and ironic that the single most influential event in my life was sparked by a triangular piece of cloth, strategically wrapped to cover my hair, shoulders, and upper torso, otherwise known as the hijab. However, as I gazed at my middle school, frozen from pure terror as I imagined the response of my peers, that piece of cotton cloth reeked of imminent doom and estrangement from my classmates. Contrary to the jeers and slurs I anticipated, I received a plethora of confused looks and even more questions; however, everyone was surprisingly supportive and genuinely intrigued.

Before the hijab, I was extremely shy and reticent - I rarely uttered a word in class and only had one friend. However, that simple piece of cloth attracted large amounts of unwanted attention, and I had to learn how to handle the questions and all the fuss; as a result, I learned how to come out of my shell. I became more outgoing, outspoken, and assertive. I found myself talking to more people, initiating conversations, asking questions in class, etc. It was such a quick transformation and adaption that I was forced to make that I did not even realize it at the time - I was simply going with the flow.

Not only did the hijab instill confidence within me, it made more passionate. Most Muslim women make the choice to cover up as a testament of their faith and piety; however, my faith developed as a result of wearing the hijab. As a child, I shied away from Islam, much to the dismay of my mother. It held no importance to me - it was simply a nuisance for me to wake before sunrise to make a simple prayer and I absolutely detested learning how to read in Arabic. However, after being asked so many seemingly simple questions about my religion that I could not answer, I began researching Islam. I discovered what it meant to be a Muslim for the first time and I grew to love it - waking up early was no longer forced, fasting during the month of Ramadan was done with a smile, fastening the head scarf around my head was done with a purpose, etc.

It is rather quite astounding in all honesty at how much this physical piece of cloth spurred so many internal changes. However, it is said that good things come in small packages.

Now where should I take this essay?

Undergraduate / Diversity has always been important to me ; Why Emory Essay ^^? [3]

Many students decide to apply to Emory University based on our size, location, reputation, and yes, the weather. Besides these valid reasons as a possible college choice, why is Emory University a particularly good match for you? [max 250]

Diversity has always been important to me. Born in Pakistan and raised in New York City, I've come across a wide variety of cultures. I was fortunate enough to attend a high school diverse enough to hold International Festivals every year and form an International Club which I quickly became president of. As a result, one of my main priorities while considering colleges was the makeup of the student body.

Emory's statistics were impressive ï it boasted a 30% Asian population, 4% Latino population, etc. However, the moment of realization arrived I watched the video visit. My face literally lit up as a fellow hijabi, or a Muslim woman who dons a head scarf, popped up on the screen. Out of the colleges that I had perused, none had personally connected with me like this.

I immediately booked a campus visit. Although I visited on the day after devastating flash floods struck Georgia, Emory proved to be even more appealing as it met most of my requirements for the perfect college. There was an active Muslim community, the Muslim Student Association ï when pointing out the Cannon Chapel, my tour guide mentioned that the MSA held a huge iftar, or the dinner in which Muslims break their daylong fast, to mark the end of the month of Ramadan. There seemed to be no obvious cliques within Emory ï students of all ethnicities intermingled with each other, and I could easily imagine myself as one of them in the fall of 2010.

Anyone want to read/critique/dismember?
Pwetty please?