Posts by miatran239 [Suspended]

miatran239

Mar 30, 2020

Writing Feedback / General Training, Task 2 - Type: Direct Questions - Subject: Prepare students for the world of work [2]

Dear, although your essay is lengthy enough, there are problems with coherence that I want you to ponder:

At your introduction, you claim that your view will support the second idea, that "schools should focus on the overall academic development, introducing professional learning at high school". Meanwhile in your body paragraph, the example of your opinion "For example, in (...) as well as my life" is somewhat conflict to the aforementioned view. This will affect the coherence of the essay.

This similarity tendency is also happen in your second body, where you totally denied your view in the opening. Therefore, you should be more considerate about the structure and create the logical supporting ideas

The conclusion must supportive to the introduction as well as the flow of all the ideas in the essay.

miatran239

Mar 30, 2020

Writing Feedback / Household living - WRITING TASK 1_BAR CHART_CAMBRIDGE 13 TEST 2 [5]

Dear, in task 1, when a graph include timestamps, it is important to report the trend only and make comparison, as the prompt requires. Dont too ambitious about the unusual words that you know.

The word "this means that" show that your own opinion is about to come, in IELTS task 1, you shouldn't mention your own opinion. Moreover, this sentences : "However, there was (...) to about 65%" is not appropriate in task 1, since you mention about something you conclude in your own view. The figure of household in rented accommodation can't affects the in owned one, therefore, you should choose another data to compare or report.

miatran239

Mar 30, 2020

Writing Feedback / Women who worked in parliament - IELTS _Writing Task 1_Line Chart [8]

Hi there! To my knowledge, if you want to higher your band score in IELTS writing task 1, you must report the trend of each categories in the body if the graph include timestamps. Moreover, to help you create longer sentences, please watch this from Mr. Simon, a former IELTS examiner, whose video I feel really helpful in building long sentences for task 1. Check it out! youtube.com/watch?v=Saoxfh03Tqs

miatran239

Mar 30, 2020

Writing Feedback / Australian household energy use and greenhouse gas emissions. Task 1: IELTS - CAMBRIDGE 10 [7]

@THC1310vn Thank you so much for your comment !

miatran239

Mar 29, 2020

Writing Feedback / Writing task 2: Academic knowledge vs Life skills [3]

@leanhtu121 Please note several faulty that I encountered in your essay!

... to pursue a career of -> as a
... to prepare the meals -> leave the "the"
skill-building classes ... seen as an hobby

miatran239

Mar 29, 2020

Writing Feedback / Australian household energy use and greenhouse gas emissions. Task 1: IELTS - CAMBRIDGE 10 [7]

@chrisfellach Thank you for your comment !

miatran239

Mar 29, 2020

Writing Feedback / Australian household energy use and greenhouse gas emissions. Task 1: IELTS - CAMBRIDGE 10 [7]

Task 1 IELTS: The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart illustrates the proportions of energy usages in Australian households, ranging from water heating, refrigeration, other appliances, lighting, cooling, heating, while the second one demonstrates the emission percentages of greenhouse gas that stem from the aforementioned energy use.

Overall, heating witnessed the highest proportion as regards energy consumption, yet, it is evident that water heating emitted greenhouse gas the most among the studied categories.

Particularly, despite the fact that nearly a half of the total energy (around 42 percent) is spent on heating, only 15 percent of total greenhouse gas emissions are constituted by this activity. On the other hand, there was a similar pattern happened in the proportion of energy consumption and greenhouse gas emission in terms of water heating activity, with 30 percent compared to 32 percent, as well as cooling (accounted for 3% and 2% respectively).

However, in other activities, the proportions of total greenhouse emitted almost as double as those of energy consumption, for instance: refrigeration: 14 compared to 7 percent, then 8 and 4 percent on lighting and others are 28 with 15 percent.

task1cam10test1.jpg