hendiva87
Apr 7, 2020
Scholarship / Master in Entrepreneurship -AAS- Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? [3]
@Holt
Thanks in advance
@Holt
Thanks in advance
hendiva87
Apr 7, 2020
Writing Feedback / Master in Entrepreneurship -AAS- How will the proposed study contribute to your career? [2]
Need some advice from you guys, thanks in advance.
I have a strong desire to succeed in the business development area by becoming an entrepreneur as my future career. It is because that I am very interested in the subjects such as innovation, market research, product development, new revenue stream, and management strategy since at the business development department and strategic management division for almost five years.
Although I had that knowledge, not all of the tools worked well at my cafe. Some, like Balance Scorecard, surveys, A/B testing were too complex and not every workforce would understand. My venture is just one of a few SMEs that apply growth based innovation, even though it has an inadequate measurement. Yet, there are still more did not address itself to innovate. Hence, no wonder if numerous Indonesian SMEs are less competitive when compared to its neighbours in ASEAN.
Also, it is widely believed that SMEs have a vulnerable business management foundation when confronting internal problems and socio-economic changes. It means that many do not aware yet the urgency of risk management, taking a COVID-19 outbreak as an example. I am one of 64 million Indonesian SMEs who has been an adverse effect from this crisis. Moreover, I have to agree if I do not have an understanding of risk management needed.
To solve those issues, I highly need to acquire skill in entrepreneurship, growth based innovation and risk management. Thus, I believe a Master's degree in Entrepreneurship and Innovation can comply with what I required.
In conclusion, I hope that I can address this situation and when the problems come, I have had a practical framework thinking and its measurement.
(1779 Characters)
Need some advice from you guys, thanks in advance.
How will the proposed study contribute to your career?
I have a strong desire to succeed in the business development area by becoming an entrepreneur as my future career. It is because that I am very interested in the subjects such as innovation, market research, product development, new revenue stream, and management strategy since at the business development department and strategic management division for almost five years.
Although I had that knowledge, not all of the tools worked well at my cafe. Some, like Balance Scorecard, surveys, A/B testing were too complex and not every workforce would understand. My venture is just one of a few SMEs that apply growth based innovation, even though it has an inadequate measurement. Yet, there are still more did not address itself to innovate. Hence, no wonder if numerous Indonesian SMEs are less competitive when compared to its neighbours in ASEAN.
Also, it is widely believed that SMEs have a vulnerable business management foundation when confronting internal problems and socio-economic changes. It means that many do not aware yet the urgency of risk management, taking a COVID-19 outbreak as an example. I am one of 64 million Indonesian SMEs who has been an adverse effect from this crisis. Moreover, I have to agree if I do not have an understanding of risk management needed.
To solve those issues, I highly need to acquire skill in entrepreneurship, growth based innovation and risk management. Thus, I believe a Master's degree in Entrepreneurship and Innovation can comply with what I required.
In conclusion, I hope that I can address this situation and when the problems come, I have had a practical framework thinking and its measurement.
(1779 Characters)
hendiva87
Apr 7, 2020
Writing Feedback / Money on average earned - correct this Task 1 IELST Writing [4]
You need to make a clear structure in Task 1 IELTS writing test.
1. Introduction
2. Overview
3. Body A (describe chart/table)
4. Body B (describe chart/table)
In the first paragraph, you only need to paraphrase the question. Your second sentence tends to be an overview rather than a re-writing question.
You should make an overview in the second paragraph and using the keyword 'overall' to emphasize.
The last paragraph more likes a conclusion. Remember, you no need to conclude in writing task 1.
You need to make a clear structure in Task 1 IELTS writing test.
1. Introduction
2. Overview
3. Body A (describe chart/table)
4. Body B (describe chart/table)
In the first paragraph, you only need to paraphrase the question. Your second sentence tends to be an overview rather than a re-writing question.
You should make an overview in the second paragraph and using the keyword 'overall' to emphasize.
The last paragraph more likes a conclusion. Remember, you no need to conclude in writing task 1.
hendiva87
Apr 7, 2020
Writing Feedback / Australia physical activity - (Task 1 in IELTS writing test) [3]
@Tphuc
Overall, you have done a good structure in Task 1. In the introduction, you have already paraphrased the question.
In overview, you mentioned 'overall' as a keyword and using a linking expression like 'however' in the sentence.
In body paragraph, you have described the chart. You wrote the change of trend from highest to lowest and otherwise.
A minor suggest is you no need to wrote the percentage precisely. You can write '52.8%' as 'above 50 per cent'. You can use words such as approximately, roughly, about, almost, just under, nearly to express it.
And avoid a hyphen like 'age group of 35 - 44', you need to write 'age group of 35 to 44 years old'.
Well done!
@Tphuc
Overall, you have done a good structure in Task 1. In the introduction, you have already paraphrased the question.
In overview, you mentioned 'overall' as a keyword and using a linking expression like 'however' in the sentence.
In body paragraph, you have described the chart. You wrote the change of trend from highest to lowest and otherwise.
A minor suggest is you no need to wrote the percentage precisely. You can write '52.8%' as 'above 50 per cent'. You can use words such as approximately, roughly, about, almost, just under, nearly to express it.
And avoid a hyphen like 'age group of 35 - 44', you need to write 'age group of 35 to 44 years old'.
Well done!
hendiva87
Apr 6, 2020
Scholarship / Master in Entrepreneurship -AAS- Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? [3]
Hello everyone! I'm new here, and I need your advice about my writing. Thank you so much!
Master's degree in Entrepreneurship and Innovation
I am currently preparing a two-year Master's degree in Entrepreneurship and Innovation as the proposed course. This study can fulfil the proficiency gap that I always needed as an entrepreneur for my cafe and coffee soap business. It provides me with foundational and practical knowledge to build sustainable small and medium enterprises (SMEs) such as critical analytical skills, growth based innovation and financial competences. In general, I believe this course will improve my career opportunities.
After all this time, I have been running businesses with management and market research skills from my previous work experiences as a Strategic Management Officer and Market Researcher. Plus, entrepreneur short course from the Ministry of Industry while my degree in communication gave me a theoretical framework to comprehend how products and market connected via marketing strategy. The rest, I have relied on my intuition and self-taught learning.
Beside improving myself, I interested to develop Indonesian SMEs mainly on the eastern side such as Makassar, Jayapura, and Mataram. They have potential culture and natural products but still few of human resources capabilities and lack of innovation.
In doing so, I decided on Master of Innovation and Entrepreneurship at the University of Adelaide because it focuses on innovation as a growth strategy for SMEs. The courses like Managing Innovation, New Venture Strategy and Growth, Project and Innovation Finance and Accounting will help me to understand the implications of developing an innovative culture for venture growth and practical knowledge to devise financial report properly.
On the other hand, the University of Tasmania offers me critical analytical skills when confronting problems in unpredictable situations such as Strategic Entrepreneurship, Entrepreneurial Finance and Risk Management, and Industry Analysis. These competencies are very significant for entrepreneurs who run their businesses in this disruption era.
Hello everyone! I'm new here, and I need your advice about my writing. Thank you so much!
How did you choose your proposed course and institution?
(2000 characters)Master's degree in Entrepreneurship and Innovation
I am currently preparing a two-year Master's degree in Entrepreneurship and Innovation as the proposed course. This study can fulfil the proficiency gap that I always needed as an entrepreneur for my cafe and coffee soap business. It provides me with foundational and practical knowledge to build sustainable small and medium enterprises (SMEs) such as critical analytical skills, growth based innovation and financial competences. In general, I believe this course will improve my career opportunities.
After all this time, I have been running businesses with management and market research skills from my previous work experiences as a Strategic Management Officer and Market Researcher. Plus, entrepreneur short course from the Ministry of Industry while my degree in communication gave me a theoretical framework to comprehend how products and market connected via marketing strategy. The rest, I have relied on my intuition and self-taught learning.
Beside improving myself, I interested to develop Indonesian SMEs mainly on the eastern side such as Makassar, Jayapura, and Mataram. They have potential culture and natural products but still few of human resources capabilities and lack of innovation.
In doing so, I decided on Master of Innovation and Entrepreneurship at the University of Adelaide because it focuses on innovation as a growth strategy for SMEs. The courses like Managing Innovation, New Venture Strategy and Growth, Project and Innovation Finance and Accounting will help me to understand the implications of developing an innovative culture for venture growth and practical knowledge to devise financial report properly.
On the other hand, the University of Tasmania offers me critical analytical skills when confronting problems in unpredictable situations such as Strategic Entrepreneurship, Entrepreneurial Finance and Risk Management, and Industry Analysis. These competencies are very significant for entrepreneurs who run their businesses in this disruption era.
