Hello everyone! I'm new here, and I need your advice about my writing. Thank you so much!
How did you choose your proposed course and institution?
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Master's degree in Entrepreneurship and Innovation
I am currently preparing a two-year Master's degree in Entrepreneurship and Innovation as the proposed course. This study can fulfil the proficiency gap that I always needed as an entrepreneur for my cafe and coffee soap business. It provides me with foundational and practical knowledge to build sustainable small and medium enterprises (SMEs) such as critical analytical skills, growth based innovation and financial competences. In general, I believe this course will improve my career opportunities.
After all this time, I have been running businesses with management and market research skills from my previous work experiences as a Strategic Management Officer and Market Researcher. Plus, entrepreneur short course from the Ministry of Industry while my degree in communication gave me a theoretical framework to comprehend how products and market connected via marketing strategy. The rest, I have relied on my intuition and self-taught learning.
Beside improving myself, I interested to develop Indonesian SMEs mainly on the eastern side such as Makassar, Jayapura, and Mataram. They have potential culture and natural products but still few of human resources capabilities and lack of innovation.
In doing so, I decided on Master of Innovation and Entrepreneurship at the University of Adelaide because it focuses on innovation as a growth strategy for SMEs. The courses like Managing Innovation, New Venture Strategy and Growth, Project and Innovation Finance and Accounting will help me to understand the implications of developing an innovative culture for venture growth and practical knowledge to devise financial report properly.
On the other hand, the University of Tasmania offers me critical analytical skills when confronting problems in unpredictable situations such as Strategic Entrepreneurship, Entrepreneurial Finance and Risk Management, and Industry Analysis. These competencies are very significant for entrepreneurs who run their businesses in this disruption era.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 This is a pretty clear essay that the reviewer will appreciate reading. It clearly explains why you chose the courses and the universities in relation to your professional / career growth plans. However, you are over reaching in your presentation. Keep it simple. Focus only on yourself as the reason for your advanced studies are more related to personal growth instead of actually helping other SME's in your country. Remove that reference so that the discussion remains focused on the important topics which are the reasons you chose the courses and universities.
By the way, are you in the coffee SOAP or coffee SHOP business? There is a big difference between the two, the latter is self explanatory why the former needs some explanation to give the reviewer a better idea of what your line of business is all about and how your course choices are relevant to its continued improvement.
