Scholarship / GKS 2020 essay for master's degree of business management [5]

Hi, friend. I am dizzy. if you have free time, can you help me correct and judge my essay if it is appropriate for the next GKS program, please !!!

best regards Dizzy nindy
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Motivations with which you apply for this program

o Your education and work experience in relation to GKS.
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research.

The most motivation i applied GKS program is my self. it starts when I was in junior high school, I always wondered to study overseas because I want to see what`s happened outside and I wanna make a change in my environment. So I decided to start with changing my mindset about global trying to open my eyes about how wide the world is . basically I have compared my country with other couties to see what difference is. When I have little ideas to make a change or improve something in my closest place, and always start to inform and motivate my dearest friends about how far outside, with that my friends step to step had changed their traditional (close) mindset to more open it more. When I am in senior high I wanted to learn about how most people think of starting a business, most of them say they don't know how to do it and they just want to be employees. With that, I decided to learn about how to create a start-up business. First, take accounting as my undergraduate study, and plan to take international business management for my master's degree. So for that reason, I decide to apply for a GKS program, which can help me a lot to in making changes in the future for the start-up business mindset in my area and also to establish relationships with people abroad.

This year, I have graduated from my home university. I have a plan to get a new overseas experience. I spent a lot of time searching and learning about the scholarships. Finally, I choose GKS, because of GKS one of scholarship related to my future purpose. First, as a graduate in accounting. I have learned about how important leadership in life, with good and healthy leadership that I believe can affect the environment. To improve the leadership I decide to take international business management as my future master's degree. That purpose i think similar to GKS's purpose that "develop global leaders". Second, I have learned about how important to make relation from one place to another in life, especially in business. In my experience I had visited "kampung inggris" or "English village" in pare where I met many new friends throughout Indonesia from east to west Indonesia. With that, I have established relationships with at least 60 people that I have never met. After finishing the program at "kampung inggris" I wonder how important it has a lot of relation. And I think that relates to GKS purpose.

The reason I chose Korea for my future master's degree is because:
1.Korea is one of the countries in Asia that has had a tremendous success as a business country.
2.Korean language has a good quality education program.
3.Korea is one of the countries most related to my goals and the majority of my business. Because if I study in Korea I can study and see how to start an industrial business in Korea. Korea has many successful business industries that other countries do not have, such as the fashion business, entertainment business to super business companies like Samsung, Hyundai, etc..