Writing Feedback / Ielts---whether the pros of multi-cultured societies are more than the cons [5]

These days,public debate has been going on in my country over whether the pros of multi-cultured societies are more than the cons.This essay will discuss both sides in this debate.

Some people tend to think that it is true indeed cultural intergration and synthesis, in large
extent,could enhance the devolopment of cultural diversity.As we know,with the proliferation
of globanization,there have been increasingly individuals invest more money in national
commercial trade,which has becomed an indispensable part of our lives and it has been exterting
profound implications on the way we live ,work, play and learn.More importantly,different habitants
from different cultural background, necessitates mutal understanding and enrich their experience.
It could be hard - imaging that if we were lead to the life without a cultural styles,how dull our
daily lives would be ? This trend is not restricted to adults who need to be confronted with challenge and chance,but is also evident among adolescents who ought to borden their horizons

about the world.

On the other hand, it is worth pointing out that some people may claim that multied society would
impels some local cultural to go extinct in terms of languages,customs and even bring them unestimate jeopardization.This is due to the fact that several minority enthic groups, apparently,have many lesser-known costome. It is manifest that those special ways could not adapt to the accelerated society.Despite of this,nothing is set carved in stone.Therefore,there is no one but longs to live the life being behind.

Over all, my conclusion is that it is imperative that our govenment should encourage communiction of culture.More importantly,I am convinced that multied society would be well -advised to augment the devolpement of the whole world.

(I will have the Ielts text next month ,thank you for your advice~)