Writing Feedback / From a long time music has been seen as a critical element contributing to human civilization [3]

Music is a good way of bringing people together

Hi all,

I am preparing for my coming IELTS exam. I really appreciate your attention and correction for my essay as below:

Topic: Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

From primitive times to modern days, music has been seen as a critical element contributing to human civilization, which is not only a means of leisure but also a tool for connecting people together in society. In fact, there has existed an opinion stating that all the boundaries between cultures or generations can be broken thanks to those magical melodies. For me, such a socializing function of music can easily be observed in intercultural understanding but will not be the case for people of different ages.

To begin with, common preferences for certain types of music can be shared widely between people all over the world regardless of the existing linguistic or cultural diversity. Obviously, the meaning of a song either instrumentally or lyrically can be perceived just through the pattern of the melody, which can convey certain human feelings such as joyful, grieving, inspiring, or even depressing. Therefore, music can be considered as a special form of auditory language helping people to understand the deeply silent thoughts that are impossible to be covered in any verbal expressions.

On the other hand, music is actually forming certain standing barriers between different generations whose psychology will decide a distinctive music preference during specific stages of life. As a matter of fact, energetic adolescents can develop a passion for lively heavy metal, while adults at their forties or fifties tend to indulge themselves in instrumental classic melodies that function as a soothing pill for all the worries and messy thoughts stuffed in their heads. Hence, any common musical taste can hardly be detected between different ages for whom music is not only a leisure product but also an outlet for distinguished personalities developed in certain periods.

All in all, music can be a tool for boosting intercultural understanding and relationships, but contrastingly a standing barrier between different generations.

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306 words

Thank you for your help!