helen123
May 26, 2020
Writing Feedback / GRE task 1; technology link with the deterioration in the ability for humans to think for themselves [2]
subject: As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take.
The statement link the technology with the deterioration in the ability for humans to think for themselves. However, the assumption in the statement is that our increasing reliance on technology negate the need of humans to learn and think. Although the increasing amount of technology provides us more and more convenience: people commute to work from home to the company ten kilometers away in only twenty minutes by automobile; employees process information using wireless network and coordinate tasks with someone from the other edge of oceans through computer, convenience does not preclude the thinking ability that marks the human race.
Firstly, technology makes our life more efficiently. Technology does not allow our minds to deteriorate by using them, but allow things more easier for humans so that we can save time for more important things. Think about how the digital revolution and the advent of internet has introduced such an unparalleled exchange of ideas. People process information on a silicon bridge that are 0.09 microns wide. Computers free us from the massive and tedious calculation so that we can concentrate more on the issue itself. Moreover, technology opens pathway of various thinking. With increased interdisciplinary interaction, inspiration can com from the most surprising corner. For example, ipad, a kind of tablet computer, provide designers a new way to create art works. You can draw with whatever color you want without painting brushes and pigments. You can also change the mode of drawing(sketch, oil painting, etc.) only tipping several bottons. These technology inspires the unfettered imagination of artists.
Secondly, technology not only frees humans to tackle problems, but also may itself create new issues that did not exist before. For example, the proliferation of industry has introduce a need for fuel conservation on a global scale. As a result, environment pollution becomes a concern inconceivable to the horse-and-buggy generation.
In summary, we are seeing a golden age of technology, it provides hope to the future of human life. From the discovery of fire to the implementation of satellite, the creativity that mark the human species never deteriorate. instead, there will be no boundary for human to search, and the number of problems has been increasing all the time, more and more puzzles need us to tackle.
could you help me check if there are grammer and expression mistakes? I will be very grateful !
The technology impacts on human's creativity
subject: As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take.
The statement link the technology with the deterioration in the ability for humans to think for themselves. However, the assumption in the statement is that our increasing reliance on technology negate the need of humans to learn and think. Although the increasing amount of technology provides us more and more convenience: people commute to work from home to the company ten kilometers away in only twenty minutes by automobile; employees process information using wireless network and coordinate tasks with someone from the other edge of oceans through computer, convenience does not preclude the thinking ability that marks the human race.
Firstly, technology makes our life more efficiently. Technology does not allow our minds to deteriorate by using them, but allow things more easier for humans so that we can save time for more important things. Think about how the digital revolution and the advent of internet has introduced such an unparalleled exchange of ideas. People process information on a silicon bridge that are 0.09 microns wide. Computers free us from the massive and tedious calculation so that we can concentrate more on the issue itself. Moreover, technology opens pathway of various thinking. With increased interdisciplinary interaction, inspiration can com from the most surprising corner. For example, ipad, a kind of tablet computer, provide designers a new way to create art works. You can draw with whatever color you want without painting brushes and pigments. You can also change the mode of drawing(sketch, oil painting, etc.) only tipping several bottons. These technology inspires the unfettered imagination of artists.
Secondly, technology not only frees humans to tackle problems, but also may itself create new issues that did not exist before. For example, the proliferation of industry has introduce a need for fuel conservation on a global scale. As a result, environment pollution becomes a concern inconceivable to the horse-and-buggy generation.
In summary, we are seeing a golden age of technology, it provides hope to the future of human life. From the discovery of fire to the implementation of satellite, the creativity that mark the human species never deteriorate. instead, there will be no boundary for human to search, and the number of problems has been increasing all the time, more and more puzzles need us to tackle.
could you help me check if there are grammer and expression mistakes? I will be very grateful !
