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Posts by nguyentananhquoc
Name: Nguyễn Tấn Anh Quốc
Joined: Jul 9, 2020
Last Post: Jul 12, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: Viet Nam
School: Ho Chi Minh University of Education

Displayed posts: 5
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nguyentananhquoc   
Jul 12, 2020
Writing Feedback / The line graph compares the amount of four different types of food consumed in Europe; IELTS 1 [2]

Hello! Here is my task for Writing Task 1, Test 2, Cam 7. I am aiming for band 8 writing, can you tell me if I can achieve it, if not what can I do to improve my writing skills. Thank you so much that you guy spend time reading my thread!

The consumption of fish and meat



Task
The line graph compares the amount of four different types of food consumed by people in a Europian country from 1979 to 2004.
Overall, the expenditure on beef, lamb and fish in this county experienced different decreases over the period of 25 years, while the figure for chicken increased despite fluctuation.

It can be seen from the graph that in 1979 the amount of beef consumed per capita was about 220 grams on a weekly basis, which was the highest of four types. The figures for chicken and lamb were lower, at just around 150 grams for each, while fish accounted for the lowest number with only about 60 grams consumed weekly.

The following decade witnessed the fluctuation of the weekly consumption of beef, also the rapid increase in the figure for chicken, and the year 1989 marks the point at which expenditure on chicken overtook that for beef. From 1989, the weekly consumption of chicken kept on rising, which was about 250 grams in 2004, while the figure for beef dropped to just around 100 grams. Over the 25-year period, the amount of lamb and fish gradually decreased, which were about 60 grams and 50 grams respectively in 2004.




nguyentananhquoc   
Jul 12, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Employment Rates of four Countries (bar graph) [5]

Hello, i'm just a newbie to Ielts, and I have learnt a lot when reading your essay and the feedbacks from @Holt also make me understanding lots of thing.

Hope you achieve many success in the future.
nguyentananhquoc   
Jul 12, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Book 13 test 3 task 1 - Top 10 countries for the production and consumption of electricity [4]

I think "The bar chart gives information about top ..." is enough for your introduction and the rest of your paragraph should be in a separate paragraph as a overview for the chart.

Another thing is that I don't think it's a good idea to use phrase like " we can see" in writing task because it make your writing less formality.

Hope my feedback help you.
nguyentananhquoc   
Jul 9, 2020
Writing Feedback / The line graph indicates how the birth rates of China and the USA fluctuated from 1920 to 2000 [4]

Hello everyone, this is my first attempt to do the IELTS Writing Task 1 and I would be really appreciated if you guys can give me feedbacks and the possible band score.

Thank you so much!
Task

IELTS WRITING TASK 1: Birth rates of China and USA



The line graph indicates how the birth rates of China and the USA fluctuated from 1920 to 2000.
Overall, the birth rates of both nations decreased over the period of 80 years. Although the two trends were similar in terms of a general decline, the fertility of the USA was higher than that of China in most years.

From 1920 to 1935, the birth rate in America fluctuated considerably, although it always remained above 10%. However, in the following decade, the American birth rate reached its bottom of under 5%. In the 1945-1950 period, the figure for the USA increased significantly to 15%, which was its highest rate over the period of 80 years. During the remainder of the period, there was a gradual decline in the USA birth rate, which fell to 7% by the year 2000.

Over the same period, the birth rate in China varied more significantly than in the USA. It dropped to and remained 5% from 1940 to 1945, before reaching its peak of 20% in 1950. By contrast, in the next five years, the figure declined rapidly to 8%. Similar to the USA, China experienced a gradual decrease in birth rate from 1955 to 2000, which dropped to 2% in 2000. (207 words)




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