zxc5532130
Aug 21, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: Line graph about Internet users as percentage of population in three countries [3]
Please help me to correct my essay and give me some feeback about the strucure of my words. I'll be grateful for your support.
The line graph compares three different countries, including American, Canada and Mexico, in terms of the proportion of people using the Internet from 1999 to 2009.
It is clear that there was a gradually increasing trend in percentages of Internet users among these countries. Besides, Internet usage rates of the population in the USA and Canada were much higher than that in Mexico over a period of 10 years
In 1999, nearly 20% of people in America had access to the Internet, compared to about 10% and 5% in Canada and Mexico respectively. The figures demonstrated much sharper rises in the USA and Canada than that for Mexico. By 2005, the Internet usage in Canada formally overtook the figure for America, at about 70%.
It was not until 2009 that the percentage of people who used Internet surprisingly reached nearly 100% in Canada, the largest point in comparison with the three countries throughout these 10 years. The figure was about 80% in the USA. By contrast, the proportion of people surfing the Internet was only close to 30%.
Please help me to correct my essay and give me some feeback about the strucure of my words. I'll be grateful for your support.
numbers of people using Internet from 1999 to 2009
The line graph compares three different countries, including American, Canada and Mexico, in terms of the proportion of people using the Internet from 1999 to 2009.
It is clear that there was a gradually increasing trend in percentages of Internet users among these countries. Besides, Internet usage rates of the population in the USA and Canada were much higher than that in Mexico over a period of 10 years
In 1999, nearly 20% of people in America had access to the Internet, compared to about 10% and 5% in Canada and Mexico respectively. The figures demonstrated much sharper rises in the USA and Canada than that for Mexico. By 2005, the Internet usage in Canada formally overtook the figure for America, at about 70%.
It was not until 2009 that the percentage of people who used Internet surprisingly reached nearly 100% in Canada, the largest point in comparison with the three countries throughout these 10 years. The figure was about 80% in the USA. By contrast, the proportion of people surfing the Internet was only close to 30%.
