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Posts by veenajayant
Name: Veena Otari
Joined: Sep 15, 2020
Last Post: Sep 15, 2020
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: India
School: University Of Otago

Displayed posts: 2
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veenajayant   
Sep 15, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2 - Animal extinction - Reasons and Solution [3]

Hi,

Ideas used for this essay are quite good. But remember, IELTS does not mark you on the ideas, they mark you on your language skills. Hence focus on the four points shared below:

1. Task achievement - Your essay should be a minimum of 250 words. What you have written is fine which is just 257. I would suggest you to aim for at least 270-290 words.

2. Coherence and cohesion (structure and flow) - Putting you opinion statement in the intro would be a better idea presentationwise. Also be as clear and direct as possible. Instead of saying several factors write "two main reasons" that provides clarity which is an important element of your essay.

3. Lexical resource (vocabulary and accuracy) - leads to damage towildlife habits this would reduce you marks as you have spelled habitats incorrectly. Always proofread as it will make a huge difference. More importantly, try to use synonms wherever possible with accuracy. The word residents can be written as locals, citizens, people etc. Include linkers such as - Such as, Whereas, While, Although, However, Along with and others.

4. Grammar - Correct use of tenses and a variety of sentence structures are essential. Try to maintain a single tense (depending on essay topics) and add a variety of sentences like simple, compound and complex to your essay. This will help boost your score.
veenajayant   
Sep 15, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Opinion Essay - Language extinction [4]

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.

To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?



Languages are an essential part of any culture. Many of which are extinct and several others are on their way to extinction. Some people do not consider this as a significant loss because it is a common belief among some that it is better to have fewer languages in the world. In my opinion, languages are of a great importance and must be conserved at all costs.

Firstly, language is one of the key elements which bind us to the history and the culture of the world. Through languages, we are able to experience the beauty of a tradition and is one of the factors that represent diversity worldwide. Many ideologies of modern world are based on the mythologies and ancient philosophies, which are derived from various groups from all around the world. Letting these languages die out can deprive us from learning more about our history and our ancestors. For instance, many archaeological surveys still dig out prehistoric artefacts/scriptures with letters and symbols engraved on them. If we fail to keep the earliest languages alive, we might never be able to decode those scriptures. Hence, languages must be conserved.

Secondly, extinction of any language would eventually result in loss of its culture causing every part of the world to be identical which results in reduced number of tourists in some nations. There would be no reason to travel to other places in search of diversity and different cultures. This would also take a toll on the economy of the country. For example, the Balinese are investing in protection of their language and their traditions as Indonesia relies majorly on tourism. If they fail to protect their culture, their economy would be strongly affected.

In conclusion, for economic and historic importance the conservation of the languages is crucial.

Kindly advise an estimate band score along with the corrections. Thank you in advance.
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