Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Ansari01
Name: Ali
Joined: Sep 19, 2020
Last Post: Sep 27, 2020
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

From: Afghanistan
School: Kabul University

Displayed posts: 4
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Ansari01   
Sep 27, 2020
Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [413]

Hello everybody
I am Ansari, I joined to Essay Forum because I need our friends feedback when I write my essays for applying a scholarship, I find out that this website is very useful for everyone of us.

thank you dears
I am happy that I have you.
Ansari01   
Sep 27, 2020
Writing Feedback / Sports centres and social health - IELTS task 2 [3]

Dear Peterpen! your writing is good and you will get the best band in your test, but here are some points that may you consider while you write an essay. Firstly, just focus on your essay structure for example there is no a clear thesis statement so when a reader read your essay in the fist paragraph can understand what it is about. Secondly, in this kind of essay at the beginning generally write a bout both side and finally your opinion should be just about oneside as the question required.
Ansari01   
Sep 20, 2020
Scholarship / To be the leader of our own life - Chevening looking for leaders or influencers [5]

@Omnia
A bundle of thanks that you have read my essay and mentioned my mistakes, I try to fine a person to help me rectify my grammatical and pactuation mistakes. If it is possible for you to do that I will be thankful of you as much as possible .

@Holt
Thanks a million for giving me the best and fundamental feedback, I will focus on two point that you mentioned also I will cut down it up to 500 words. May I can send my essays directly to you? for editing or not. For a private service, you may contact us at: essayforum.com@gmail.com
Ansari01   
Sep 19, 2020
Scholarship / To be the leader of our own life - Chevening looking for leaders or influencers [5]

I need your help, please give the feedback that its requirs. thank you.

Chevening leadership essay



Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

(Minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

Leadership is an ability that all of us need to have it and leading our life no matter at a high level or at least to be the leader of our own life. My leadership started at school and continued to university and after on.

When I was at high school I have begun my first leading as representative of my class that I had selected among three other volunteers, I started my responsibility when I newly moved from another school to my new high school which in there in my new class the situation was not good anyone do not cares for lessons and teachers because of that our class was approximately at the end of ranking of tenth grade classes it faced me to very big challenges but I slowly worked on and used different method according to everyone characteristic to bring them to direct line, for instance I helped those who want to learn but they cannot understand the lessons because some noisy and bad people annoying them when the teachers came to class and taught for us, moreover, I encourage them to focuses on their lessons, I said for them this is the only way we can draw a bright future for ourselves, but those who do not listen to our teachers and me I listed them for punishing by principle I know it was not a good way but we have to do that, as a result, and fortunately all these my efforts worked and at the end when went to passing the Kankor exam or the exam that allowed us to join to colleges and universities almost all of my classmates accepted to different fields they appalling to except two out of sixty students that they left studding forever.

After successfully passing the Kankor exam and accepted to Kabul Polytechnic University I had enough experience to be our class captain so it caused that I have nominated myself again just for purpose of serving to my university classmates. We were three volunteers for this position, so at the beginning, every one of us introduces ourselves and explain our plan for being as a representative of the class which is a transparent election they elect me and both of competitor accepted the result and congratulate to me. For this time there were different people from all across the country that it made harder onus for me than it was in our school, but I don't fare facing difficulties because I believe each problem has a solution, furthermore, challenges make us powerful. I have done my duties greater than ever. I was a linker of class with our professors, department and in view of necessity with the leadership of the university. Additionally, I love helping others no matter where I am, so it caused that I worked and practised with those my classmates that were not intelligent enough in their lessons like mathematic and mapping subjects. On the other hand, I had a membership of a group of representatives of our university dormitory at the same time.

After getting my bachelor degree I started working for Independent Election Commission (IEC) as Voter Registration Manager that I had 6 employees under my order for doing the duties, shortly I won't mention here that at the end of registration proses I have listed in top ten managers because of that the IEC human resource (HR) signed another contract with me as Data Entry operator in the IEC central office which there I also was as a group head.

Overall, I cannot stay calm when I am among the people no problem it is in my workplace or somewhere else. Assisting and being in the head of people is in my blood.
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