Undergraduate / Goats- changes to the community [6]

Maybe I am focusing too much on the idea, but the topic is an intellectual idea you have or something you would want to change about your community. Why and how?

Do you think I am focusing too much on the "why" and not "how"?

------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------
"YOU LIE!"
Republican Joe Wilson's shout during the President's healthcare address. Serena Williams' tirade and unsportsmanlike conduct. Kanye West's interruption during Taylor Swift's VMA Award. As the world sipped on these pieces of gossip, one cannot help but wonder: since when did mankind's civility plummet so much? These high-profile outbursts, along with sights of casual spitting, graffiti, and quarrels on the street, may be indicators of flaws in our education system.

Well on the bright side, the majority of the US population is at least aware of what amounts to proper behavior. Here, American schools strive to prevent lack of courtesy. On the other side of the globe, however, Asian education solely focuses on core studies at the cost of artistic expression and social development. Critics, who voice resentment towards the lack of manner discipline, are often volumed down to censor spread of criticism towards the government. Similar public outbursts never reach headlines and are not openly condemned.

The result? Lack of manners discarded as mundane- undermining the once etiquette-and-virtue-centric heritage.
Decline in morale is not the only problem Asian nations' education confront. Their education's loopholes are dispensed everywhere.
For instance, in my long arm hair.
My arm-hair is living proof of China's defective education policies. How so?
Its hair length takes root in a childhood intimidated by competition-my sister's beauty. Wishing for smooth skin like her, I could not bear to see her outshine me. I resorted to cutting my arm-hair repeatedly.

It backfired of course.
I mention this because tracing back, the main culprit behind my childish action was peer pressure encouraged by Chinese Boards of Education.
I admit that the school curriculum motivates diligence and solidifies academic foundations. However, I disapprove of the overly aggressive inter-student-competition, which is instigated by educators. Objectionably, Chinese teaching tactics tend to promote rivalry more than unity between individuals.

If asked during an interview if we were leaders, the correct answer seemed to be a confident yes, because teachers prepared us to excel as leaders at all times. Strangely enough, there was little room for discussions on how to accept losses. Our classes disciplined us not to follow or cooperate, but to surpass others and expectations.

Giving up was not an option, given it renounced all chances to succeed. China suggested unlimited possibilities to an extreme degree, and failed to mention that even possibilities are restricted to certain limits based on one's talents and character. The goal was to install perseverance and intellect; we ironically passed that point. We were raised into scholars brave in thoughts, but awkward and stubbornly persistent in social relations.

You see, Asia is casting its future generations into narrow frames, transforming life from colorful 'I's to uniform 'it's. Teaching methods should be speculated and improvised to raise manner awareness and incorporate appreciation of both successes and failures. Or else, Asia's future will turn into the goat in that particular math problem: the goat tethered to a center and only allowed to eat restricted areas of grass.

Undergraduate / "Idiot." - Too naive or too dense? Ivy league Common App main essay [5]

This is the main essay that I am using for the common app essay main body. If anyone could look at it and maybe give me suggestions, it would really really deeply appreciated. ><

------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------
..."Idiot."
Eighty-eight? Is that what she said?
I questioned myself in four different languages.
Was she evaluating my work? How considerate. English can be so frustrating though. How do they speak without tangling their tongues up?
I looked up. My timid reflection gazed at me through a pair of inquiring eyes. At loss for words, I prayed that my smile could insinuate appreciation.

Then she smirked. I shrank. Her foreign tongue cruelly pursued my silence. All I could fathom was the rich mocking tone in her interrogation. I wished to leave...

One thing worth noting about me is that I lived.
I lived knowing the pleasure of independence, given that my parents' formula for raising children followed the "shepherd's guide": provide shelter, but let them pick their own grass.

I lived for the secret satisfaction from listening to airport check-in agents gasp at my passport. My nationality, concealed by deceptive Asian features, shocked them. I was French.

I also lived through clashes between customs and modernity. My gender, a violation to family cycles long headed by male first-borns, disgraced superstitious relatives. My Christian mother's status in her Buddhist in-laws' family was undermined by her western beliefs and by giving birth to a girl. Thus, religious conflicts roamed my mischievous childhood.

However, I could never ask for more from the creator. You see, at an early age, all your behavior roots from intuition. Many of my peers were intuitively driven to conduct themselves immaturely; but my intuition smelled the family tension, and since I did not receive all of my hearts' desires, I learned to never take anything for granted. Especially my eventful life.

"'I' is a verb, because to live, you must do, not be."
I forget who said that, but as a child, my feelings strongly resonated with those words. Hence despite being less appreciated, I tried to set up a role model to my younger sister and cousins. I wanted to prove myself worthy of life, just as all the family heads preceding me. I wanted to behave properly and earn my relatives' respect. Pride as I knew it, was the smile on my parents' faces.

I also lived through assimilating.
I was seven when my parents packed up for China in hopes of brighter business opportunities. My sister and I remained in France under the custody of Tata (aunt) in Aix-les-Bains. I turned ten when my sister and I arrived at WenZhou, then Shanghai, China. After earning us admission into a private school, my parents launched another business plan- leaving us for the United States. For the following three and a half years, my family consisted of my younger siblings, our nanny, and a college piano student. Until finally, my siblings and I joined our parents in 2004.

I remember that Nanny often liked to ask, if I could, what market merchandise would I wanted to be?
My answer? Water.
Water could easily adjust to its surrounding, a skill I admired and lived to polish through immigration. With the absence of parents, my flexibility in adapting to new environments was tested by obstacles, such as less-than-friendly attitudes, exotic cuisine and language barriers. I was forced to keep track of the household's bills, and persistently dedicated sweat into learning three languages from scratch. But tenacity paid off, and I don't know which was more rewarding-- breaking the custom of no-skipping-grades in the rigorous Chinese curriculum, or winning recognitions and friendships regardless of my foreign background in all three countries. Perseverance also pulled me through ESL in a month and into NYC's Specialized High School a year later.

Here I must admit, as one who lives, that many of us rarely look ahead. We teenagers tend to commit ourselves to society's perpetual cycle of schoolwork, meals, sleep, and schoolwork again. Some of us lose our spines at the thought of reaching adulthood, while others hesitate over every single move when playing the life game, weary of consequences. Considering our inexperience, we do not often have the courage or leisure to sit back and think, geez, what is the big picture here. I am also a teenager, and times without number, doubt and fear paid me visits as I opened up to new possibilities. I cannot help but ask myself if today's decisions will differ from tomorrow'. I cannot simply advance without turning back to glimpse at the path I have chosen from time to time, arguing on behalf of my options or in the defense of other alternatives. However living has taught me that life is short and always goes on. Hence, we should learn from sunflowers to pursue our dreams with no regrets. Even if it means to endure stormy nights or hailing winds, always live to gaze up and meet another sunrise.