Posts by Youngish

Youngish

Dec 13, 2020

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of [6]

Hello there,
Overall, your essay is a good one regarding reasoning and examples.
You developed your ideas well, especially in body 1, which convinces the reader. Also, your examples are relevant and support your notions directly.
However, there exist flaws associated with grammar, especially singular/plural form. As an illustration, it should have been "...people are facing more and more problems, especially environmental problemS". Moreover, you created some tautologies, for instance, "However, from my perspective, ~~I still believe that~~ other problems..." is correct.

The bottom line is that your essay is intensely convincing, yet I am afraid that your GRA score may fall short of your expectations by virtue of some tiny mistakes.

Keep up the good work!

Youngish

Dec 13, 2020

Writing Feedback / An opinion essay: It is important that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety... [5]

Thank both of you for correcting my essay!
Regarding your correction, I will modify my thesis statement: I totally agree with this aforementioned opinion, since this experience would ultimately benefit students.
Have a good day! :>

Youngish

Dec 7, 2020

Writing Feedback / An opinion essay: It is important that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety... [5]

It is important that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Schools should not separate learners with distinct abilities and backgrounds, some suggest. Based on my considerations, I am of this opinion, since this blend would ultimately benefit students.

Schoolers with wide-ranging skills should learn in the same classes for a range of justifications. Firstly, they can learn new skills from each other, and thus achieve higher academic outcomes. To illustrate, students with better mental math ability can share several ways to improve these skills to other students as a way to improve their arithmetic results. Moreover, the aforementioned guiders may also be benefited since they house a chance to sharpen their communication skills and revise knowledge. If not, they would struggle to express their ideas clearly and assist other learners. What this illustration reveals is that a majority of students can improve their knowledge when learning in an environment with people having distinct abilities.

Likewise, students from an assortment of backgrounds should learn in the same environment. In other words, they should not be classed by their backgrounds, but other factors, including theoretical knowledge. This case would enable educators to understand their students' academic levels, and hence can choose the most suitable pedagogical methodology as well as assignments for their students. Mixing students with different backgrounds can also allow them to learn more about how society operates and the variety of races, genders, and classes. School-aged children, therefore, can grasp a deep understanding of societal problems and be open-minded. As a result, they become well-informed citizens which may be valuable for the future.

In conclusion, some assert that the mixture of students with distinct skill sets and backgrounds is of paramount importance. I am on the side of this belief since from an educational perspective, it is advantageous for skill acquisition and personal development of learners.

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Thank you for reading!