quyen0w0
Jul 24, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: People arrested in the five years and the most recent reasons for arrest [4]
-regarding the intro: it is great to use while". however I am a bit confused about the " five years " in your sentence. I suggest it will be better to write " over the course of five years "
-it is worth bearing in mind to avoid sentences with one single clause
Overall, males were arrested more than females.-> looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that males were arrested more than females
- you should work more on your comprehension by using linking words like "while", " at the same time", " in contrast" or relative clauses
- you can use some useful verbs to demonstrate the percentage like: " account for", " comprise ",
-regarding the intro: it is great to use while". however I am a bit confused about the " five years " in your sentence. I suggest it will be better to write " over the course of five years "
-it is worth bearing in mind to avoid sentences with one single clause
Overall, males were arrested more than females.-> looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that males were arrested more than females
- you should work more on your comprehension by using linking words like "while", " at the same time", " in contrast" or relative clauses
- you can use some useful verbs to demonstrate the percentage like: " account for", " comprise ",