Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 1 : line graph - domestic access to technology [4]

Please give me some comments on my essay. Much appreciated!

summarize the information from the graph

The information given in the line chart illustrates the proportion of different ways ,namely CD player, mobile phone, internet access, home computer which people used to access modern technology for domestic purposes in the UK from the 1996-2003 period. Overall, it can clearly be seen that all the methods showed an uprising tendency with the CD player hitting the peak of the graph.

Looking closer into the chart, it is noticeable that the pattern of the CD player and home computer is similar in terms of the increasing trend. Initially, the CD player started at exactly 60 percent standing on the top of all four methods ;however, the home computer only began with less than half of the highest one at just under 30 percent. After that, both CD player and domestic computer gradually climbed at the same speed to over 80 and just under 60 respectively. Another interesting point is the home computer had doubled since the progress began.

On the other hand, although the mobile phone still showed an inclining trend, it fluctuated slightly through the process. In the middle of 1999, the percentage of the phone hit almost 30% surpassed the home computer. Then the internet access appeared in the beginning of 1999 at 10% and increased rapidly to over four times at 40% despite the poorer starting point compared with the others.

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