coolbaby
Feb 17, 2021
Writing Feedback / The foundation for sportsmen's success. PHYSICAL STRENGTH AND MENTAL STRENGTH IN SPORT [3]
Hi @Pham Blen,
For your essay, it is valid that you backed up both claims with evidence to try and support your reasoning. However, I think you should cut back from using the word "physical" too much since it's one of the words in the question. For example, if I were to ask you what kind of activities you do, it wouldn't be a suffice answer to say, I do water activities. Try and be more precise in your explanation. Additionally, I would advise you to change up your conclusion since it doesn't really sum up your body paragraphs.
Hi @Pham Blen,
For your essay, it is valid that you backed up both claims with evidence to try and support your reasoning. However, I think you should cut back from using the word "physical" too much since it's one of the words in the question. For example, if I were to ask you what kind of activities you do, it wouldn't be a suffice answer to say, I do water activities. Try and be more precise in your explanation. Additionally, I would advise you to change up your conclusion since it doesn't really sum up your body paragraphs.