Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 about historical subjects [2]

Question:

It is more important for school children to learn about local history than world history.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Building an efficient study program is always a challenging issue. For the history subject, someone states that local history is more vital than world history. I partly agree with this opinion due to the following reasons.

On the one hand, studying local history events can help children to understand how their resident place is built and grown, such knowledge makes them love and contributes to their regions. Some children feel very proud of their local heritages after knowing extremely brave wars to protect the region of ancient people. In addition, many children recognize their responsibility to keep and preserve local heritages after local history lessons. For example, they participate in activities to clean the environment around heritage places. Some others play as a volunteer tour guide to lead tourists in order to avoid destroying heritages.

On the other hand, local history is often related to global history. Without studying world history might make students have a narrow view or difficulties to understand local phenomenons. For example, children feel difficult to understand why Quebecers speak French if they do not study the world story related to a beautiful period of French. In addition, world history contains a huge knowledge compared to local history. When learning about world history, a child can study not only historical events but also other aspects such as the climate in the world or theories about marketing or wars. Such useful knowledge might be too difficult to be found in local history.

In conclusion, local history is important for children to know about their resident region. However, we should not mitigate the vitality of world history to educate less in school. Instead, children should be encouraged to study in both local and world history.

Writing Feedback / Essay about the advantages and disadvantages of Internet for Ielts Task 2 [3]

Topic:

The internet has as many disadvantages as it does advantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

We are now living in a modern society in which Internet is dominant and widely utilized everywhere. Even though Internet potentially exists several disadvantages that pose detrimental threats toward our society, I still believe that it will develop and proliferate rapidly in the future.

On the one hand, Internet owns potential risks and affects on users with various ages. Spending a lot of time on Internet can make children addicted by a number of video clips and video game. There are some severe incidents related to playing online games which make the victims unconscious or even died because of copying behaviors of some characters. For adults, Internet also causes many violence and sexual problems. By following social media platforms such as Facebook, and Twitter, many people are influenced by others and then they do some self-assassinate or massive shooting. Sadly, numerous of rape and sexual abuse are also related to watching porn clips on Internet.

On the other hand, it is irrefutable fact that Internet is an innovation changing our society and brings several benefits to our life. Internet forces the economy with billions dollars by proving online shopping platforms and intelligent supply chains supported by web applications. Internet opens telecommunication industry in different approaches in most of countries in the world. It makes us closer to others and removes the restriction of geographical issues by virtual platforms such as messenger, facetime that of connections seem impossible in the past. Furthermore, Internet owns an unlimited number of sharing knowledge in varying fields. Wikipedia, Google, Blogs, etc, become online libraries with plenty of documents, explanations and discussions.

In conclusion, I think that many people now cannot live without Internet. Although it exists disadvantages that negatively impacts on users, the Internet will still be dominant and develop rapidly in the future.