Undergraduate / I Do Also Have a Dream. [8]

I agree with EF_Stephen. Your essay tells a lot of what you are struggling with, but you don't talk about things that you you've achieved already. For example, instead of writing that "...I have found education to be a brutal monster that I must conquer..." I would say something like "...and even though studies did not go easy for me, not knowing much English at first, I have learned to conquer my weaknesses and made significant progress over the years."