CBQ
Mar 26, 2021
Writing Feedback / Universities should focus on specialist subject - this is a much better choice. IELTS Writing task 2 [5]
@ Holt
Thank you a lot!
You said that I should use the word "thought" rather than the word "argued" so I have two other questions for you.
Mr. wrote his introduction for the topic : "Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes." like this: "It is sometimes argued that high school students should be made to do some work in their local communities. In my opinion, it would be wrong to force teenagers to do any kind of unsalaried work."
He also used the word "argue" instead of "believe", and at the beginning of the second sentence, he wrote: "In my opinion, it would be wrong to ...".
Also, his conclusion is only one-sentence long and the number of words is less than 40 words. For example, he wrote: "In conclusion, my view is that goverments should spend money on services that benefit all members of society, and it is wrong to waste resources on projects that do not improve our everyday lives.", and it is good enough to get the maximum score.
What is your opinion?
@ Ahmed adobewan
Thank you a lot!
I understand your approach to the essay, but if I wrote like that, my second paragraph would have to be about "learning a range of subjects helps students figure out their interests more clearly", which is not my aim.
Thanks for your compliments!
@ Holt
Thank you a lot!
You said that I should use the word "thought" rather than the word "argued" so I have two other questions for you.
Mr. wrote his introduction for the topic : "Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes." like this: "It is sometimes argued that high school students should be made to do some work in their local communities. In my opinion, it would be wrong to force teenagers to do any kind of unsalaried work."
He also used the word "argue" instead of "believe", and at the beginning of the second sentence, he wrote: "In my opinion, it would be wrong to ...".
Also, his conclusion is only one-sentence long and the number of words is less than 40 words. For example, he wrote: "In conclusion, my view is that goverments should spend money on services that benefit all members of society, and it is wrong to waste resources on projects that do not improve our everyday lives.", and it is good enough to get the maximum score.
What is your opinion?
@ Ahmed adobewan
Thank you a lot!
I understand your approach to the essay, but if I wrote like that, my second paragraph would have to be about "learning a range of subjects helps students figure out their interests more clearly", which is not my aim.
Thanks for your compliments!