vladr72492
Oct 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Weightlifting at American Open - UF addmissions essay [4]
It's very rare that I see an essay about olympic lifting, so I was already enthralled when I read the title, but I dont know if people who don't like lifting would be interested. Spice things up. Also there are some in here that need work.
" The American open was being held in Phoenix, Arizona during the month of December. I started to really train for this event during the month of February and me and my coach, Danny Camargo, set the goal for me to qualify for the event by October. When I started training for the American open I had to total 152kg (kilograms). At that time though I was only totaling 120kg, so for me to hit a 32kg p.r. (personal record)"
what this means to non-lifters is that your goal is to c&j 32 kilos, which would impress anyone. A lifter knows that a 32 kilo pr means 32 kilos greater than the previous 1rm pr. Then, the "total 152kg"
is a big jump, does it mean that you have to weight 152kg(not likely but it's still ambiguous) or did the c&J have to be 152kg (the reader will think 32kg then 152 kg?) or all your lifts total 152kg.
weightlifting for me opened up a new world of goals, determination, and hard work
mmm. well you mentioned that you trained hard and long but the goals thing is still not really that evident in your essay so try to fit it in there.
It's very rare that I see an essay about olympic lifting, so I was already enthralled when I read the title, but I dont know if people who don't like lifting would be interested. Spice things up. Also there are some in here that need work.
" The American open was being held in Phoenix, Arizona during the month of December. I started to really train for this event during the month of February and me and my coach, Danny Camargo, set the goal for me to qualify for the event by October. When I started training for the American open I had to total 152kg (kilograms). At that time though I was only totaling 120kg, so for me to hit a 32kg p.r. (personal record)"
what this means to non-lifters is that your goal is to c&j 32 kilos, which would impress anyone. A lifter knows that a 32 kilo pr means 32 kilos greater than the previous 1rm pr. Then, the "total 152kg"
is a big jump, does it mean that you have to weight 152kg(not likely but it's still ambiguous) or did the c&J have to be 152kg (the reader will think 32kg then 152 kg?) or all your lifts total 152kg.
weightlifting for me opened up a new world of goals, determination, and hard work
mmm. well you mentioned that you trained hard and long but the goals thing is still not really that evident in your essay so try to fit it in there.