topic: In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
In my high school life there has only been three things that I focus on; those 3 things are school, weightlifting, and lacrosse. My most important accomplishment though has to do with my weightlifting career. The type of weightlifting I do is the Olympic style, which deals with two lifts called the clean and jerk and snatch. Well I have been doing Olympic weightlifting for the past 3years and on my second year I qualified for the American Open as a school age lifter.
The American open was being held in Phoenix, Arizona during the month of December. I started to really train for this event during the month of February and me and my coach, Danny Camargo, set the goal for me to qualify for the event by October. When I started training for the American open I had to total 152kg (kilograms). At that time though I was only totaling 120kg, so for me to hit a 32kg p.r. (personal record) was a stretch but Danny told me that if I qualify that he would pay for my dinner at my favorite restaurant, Dave and Busters. So I started working out 6 days a week for 2 hours each day for 9 months. As time pasted I kept feeling my self get stronger and stronger every time I lifted at a local competition against other teams and people. By the time Joe Dube Classic, our biggest local competition, came I felt ready to try and qualify for the American open. The day of the competition I felt as ready as ever, so Danny made my opening attempts what I needed to qualify. So I went out there and hit all of my lifts to qualify for the American open.
Weightlifting for me opened up a new world of goals, determination, and hard work. In this sport I have worked for everything thing that I have earned, including best male athlete of 2007, most improved total of 2007 and most consistent lifter of 2008. That showed me that if I work hard enough at anything thing that I put my mind towards I can accomplish any goal, school work, and job. I know that if I work hard enough I will be top of my class when I graduate from college or that I will become a doctor one day because of what weightlifting and god has taught me.
It's very rare that I see an essay about olympic lifting, so I was already enthralled when I read the title, but I dont know if people who don't like lifting would be interested. Spice things up. Also there are some in here that need work.
" The American open was being held in Phoenix, Arizona during the month of December. I started to really train for this event during the month of February and me and my coach, Danny Camargo, set the goal for me to qualify for the event by October. When I started training for the American open I had to total 152kg (kilograms). At that time though I was only totaling 120kg, so for me to hit a 32kg p.r. (personal record)"
what this means to non-lifters is that your goal is to c&j 32 kilos, which would impress anyone. A lifter knows that a 32 kilo pr means 32 kilos greater than the previous 1rm pr. Then, the "total 152kg"
is a big jump, does it mean that you have to weight 152kg(not likely but it's still ambiguous) or did the c&J have to be 152kg (the reader will think 32kg then 152 kg?) or all your lifts total 152kg.
weightlifting for me opened up a new world of goals, determination, and hard work
mmm. well you mentioned that you trained hard and long but the goals thing is still not really that evident in your essay so try to fit it in there.
