Undergraduate / The Aurora Borealis [5]

Hey so the instructions state, "Please submit a brief essay (about a page), either personal or creative, which you feel best describes you".

Now I love the imagery and voice in my essay but I am not sure if I have included enough stuffing to let them see my personality. So please have at it! If there is grammar or any problems just let me know.

Oh also I was wondering if it needed a title? If so, any ideas?

As he sleeps we lightly make our way up the forest trail. The gurgle of the stream and distant crashing of the falls, calls to us through the darkness of night. On and on we run, watching our feet dart gingerly over logs, around trees and through the brush and our breath as it fogs the cool, morning air. The roar of the falls grows louder till it overcomes our panting breaths but we must hurry, he awakens soon. Finally, we stop... we are here. As we sprawl against the rocks, he awakens and we gradually gain sight across the valley as he rises from his bed in the east. The reds, oranges, purples and pinks brilliantly splash across the sky. Through the water his paints dance and play creating a daylight aurora borealis. Atop a mountain, in a forest, up a cliff, in a cave behind a waterfall, we watch a simple sunrise turned into a masterpiece.

Our journey back down the mountain is much more relaxed, joyous and filled with chatter about our experience. Back at Camp Mt. Adams we filed into a room, gathered around in a circle and listened to four simple words that have influenced who I am today and who I strive to be in life. John Norlin, my camp counselor and leader extraordinaire, simply turned to us and said, "What did you notice?". Immediately my fellow campers launched into stories about the beauty of the sunrise and all the colors, but John raised his hand for silence and I knew he was looking for something more, something deeper. "Did you notice the cooks arriving at 5:00 a.m. to make you food for the day? Did you notice the grounds keeper moving logs off the path so we could climb the mountain today? Who knows the name of the trail we took this morning?" As silence filled the room, we realized no one could answer his questions and at that moment I was hit with an epiphany. Awareness is what John was talking about and awareness is what has changed my life.

"See and See again" has been my motto ever since that moment and it's as if I have been given the gift of sight for the very first time: noticing the minute details, like new haircuts, or realizing when a friend or a stranger is just not feeling very well. When I focus on being aware, life becomes brighter with every moment. I have set a goal in life to help other people and being aware has shown me opportunities where even the smallest of gestures can make a huge difference in someone else's life. By changing this person's life I have then created the butterfly effect, "If one life touches another then potentially both lives are changed. If one life touches another then potentially the whole world is changed." Hopefully my passion for helping others is the one-drop that will start the waterfall of change that improves the world.

As the day comes to a close we head back to the path, stopping briefly to drop off gifts and cards to the cooks and the maintenance crew. While still listening to the trickling stream and dodging around bushes, our eyes now search the forest for anything and everything, capturing the beauty of the leaves, a distant deer and the Angel Falls trail sign. Up the mountain, through the forest, up a cliff, in a cave behind a waterfall we shared our stories of all we observed throughout the day. From fourteen different perspectives a panorama of the power of awareness and its effect on the world around us, displayed in our minds. As he lies down for the night and the stars glisten across the sky, we sit, we think, and we dream of hope for the future.

Undergraduate / Make a Difference" - Georgetown - Short Essay Summer Activity [6]

Hey so the topic is:

Discuss the significance to you of the school or summer activity in which you have been most involved.

and basically I have two questions, how long is a short essay and does this sound good?

On October 24th each year, across the country, Americans choose to "Make a Difference". I, however, have a goal in life to "Make a Difference", everyday. There are many moments in my life of which I am proud, but the most significant would be my experiences in Student Leadership as an Associated Student Body (ASB) Activities Coordinator and ASB President of Wenatchee High School (WHS). Many schools narrow their ASB's focus for the year on primary events such as Homecoming or Prom. While such events are essential high school experiences, they exist for only seven out of 180 days. At my school, the other 173 days are just as valuable. During these everyday but crucial moments, I break free of my comfort zone to make an impact on my community, my school, and myself.

For twelve years, WHS has showcased the Janice Franz Memorial Talent Show, a fundraiser for a community member with cancer. This past year the Jedlow family was chosen due to multiple terminal illness cases in the family. In previous years the record of raising $16,000 seemed unbeatable, but after hearing their tragic story in person I knew this year we had to do better. Inspired by this family's story and my need to serve and help others, I personally hand-wrote 200 letters to local businesses asking for donations, personally raising over $4,000. By adding personal details that inspired the community and WHS, our ASB was able to gift over $24,000 to the Jedlows, despite the recession. This revealed to me the potential I have to make a difference and how hard I am willing to work in order to achieve a goal. The sight of the Jedlows' tearing eyes and smiles is all the satisfaction we needed to know we did something special.

On a smaller scale, I have worked at making a difference with little things, such as greeting people every morning at the door, bringing cookies for a random class and learning students' and staff members' names. Here, there are no physical rewards, but the intangible ones I receive make every moment worthwhile. In fact, the other day, I received one of the most touching letters in my life from a person who I barely knew. A blind girl named Ali told me, despite being in a school of over 2,000 kids, she rarely is talked too and feels lost and alone. She informed me that although every day is a struggle to continue, when she wakes up she looks forward to the few seconds when "Good Morning! Have a great day", rings out from my mouth at the entrance to school everyday. My simple gesture makes a meaningful impact on her life and brightens up the lives of many others. Moments like these are the reason I strive to improve everyday. Making differences like these are why I choose to serve others.