Undergraduate / My Cello - playing on it is my most challenging, but most rewarding personal activity. [3]

Behind my notes are raw emotions that only music can divinely express; no other action can do them justice (This is kinda confusing, "action" apparently doesn't have an antecedent (perhaps change "notes" to "playing"?); what does it mean to express something divinely? do what justice? I think this idea should be rewritten). For every emotion there is a piece or at least a passage to envoke (? try something other than "describe") it.

Undergraduate / 'Project WORTHY'. I need to cut some of this UIUC essay down, can you help? [9]

As a freshman in high school, I was already looking forward to a future in engineering. my Introduction to Engineering Design teacher saw my interest and presented me with an application for Project WORTHY, a program for high school students interested in pursuing engineering or business. I chose to apply for the program because of my interest in engineering and my curiosity about the corporate world. I expected a lot from the program, but I underestimated how much and how fast I would learn. (Imo, you could write this more succinctly)

My interview was at Northrup Grumman, and for the first time outside of school, I was able to showcase my talents and ambitions. ("I was greeted as Mr. Mehta; I liked the sound of that." does not seem necessary. I'm kinda curious about the nature of the interview, and how you "were able to showcase your talents and ambitions"). As I waited for my acceptance letter three months later, all I could think about was Project WORTHY (Idk, something like that, you can compress the point )

As part of the program, I've been able to work on my own engineering projects . The first year, I chose to explore radio frequency jamming and controlling. (I'm a little disappointed that you didn't elaborate). I then moved on to programming during my junior year. This year, I wanted to incorporate what I had learned in my engineering classes at school, with the resources at Northrop Grumman. I am designing, programming, building, and marketing a fuel economy gauge for cars.

The summer enrichment portion of the program was particularly beneficial. (Something like that, you can shorten it) Each summer, students in the program collaborate on an engineering project . During my first summer, I was elected CEO of the mock company. This past summer, I was the student lead for the program. It was an amazing opportunity to be in a management position, because that is where I see myself in the future. (<--I like this)

Undergraduate / 'fond of origami' - MIT short answer, something you like to do [6]

Thanks people :), I've taken your advice and condensed the last sentence.