Posts by MadisonM99

MadisonM99

Oct 2, 2021

Undergraduate / My background and identity - I'm from Morocco - country with people attached to their traditions [4]

@messilyass
Adding onto what the educational consultant discussed above, I believe this essay is meant to get to know you and your feelings around your cultural background, what you have towards the beginning feels more like you're trying to educate me on the area you are from instead of about YOU and how you identify with your cultural background. Try leaning more towards the feeling your last few sentences give, a sense of where you and your identity come from with your rich cultural background. They want to know about YOU! Talk about how growing up in Temara shaped you culturally, or how your parents introduced their cultures into your family life, what family rituals and behaviors came from their cultural backgrounds and how did they shape you into who you are today.

Also, grammatically this reads very well! So just work more on rewriting this to feel more like your telling us about you and your cultural identity.

MadisonM99

Oct 2, 2021

Undergraduate / MIT Essay: I am a BLEND. Cultural Identity short essay. Evaluate my essay. [4]

@asm525
I agree with the educational consultant and so I'll add to it.

As described above, you tell us all the cultures within you, but don't explain how those cultures come together in a blend to create your unique cultural identity. In a second paragraph, describe the parts of your cultural background you identify with the most, what culture do you practice/lean towards in your daily routine? Which one affects how you live your life the most? Explain why you love each different culture in your blend, do you love the food from your mom's side the most? do you enjoy the religious practices (if applicable) that come with your father's (or mother's) side? etc etc. I would rate this low as well, 2 or 3 out of 10, due to many grammatical errors and a lack of explanation about your cultural identity.

On an added note here are some grammatical edits I think will make your sentences flow better.

"What ~~do you get in~~ comes to mind ~~listening to the~~ when you hear this word?"
"This is what my cultural background ~~sounds like~~ is."
"distinct values that brought ~~bought~~ me up."
"~~More specifically,~~ To be more specific,"
" common root ~~coming~~ derived from"
"Eastern India~~. Sounds~~, like a triangle"
"workplaces, ~~so am~~ and so do I, I was born"
"fan, ~~morning with~~ start with a morning meal apprised of South Indian delicacy, ~~carried~~ with Northern Cuisine for lunch and summing up the day with a blend, ~~which I am~~ like me,"

"I ~~adore myself to be~~ love being embedded"

I hope this helps!

MadisonM99

Oct 2, 2021

Undergraduate / In 250-300 words, tell us more about you and why you are considering VCU (Transfer Essay) [2]

Art Education and a minor in Ceramics

Ceramics, an ancient yet still prevalent art form with extreme versatility, from functional ware to purely artistic use, is something to admire. My fascination with ceramics started at a young age, school art projects involving clay were always my favorite, from a functional bowl to a figurine for display, the possibilities were endless and fueled my imagination.

For the longest time, I never realized that clay could be so much more than just a fun art project, it could be the items people bring into their home and use on a daily basis. Your favorite mug you look forward to pouring your morning coffee into each day, or the gorgeous figurine you always fawned over as a child at grandma's house, they hold a special place in your heart, a piece of clay molded into something special. When I learned I could be the one to create these objects that people hold so near and dear to their hearts I knew it was something I wanted to spread to as many people as possible.

As a ceramic teacher at a local studio, I've already started to accomplish that goal, I've seen so many students get the clay bug and get excited to give their creations to others to enjoy. With a degree in Art Education and a minor in Ceramics earned at VCU with its tight nit community of craft artisans and education-based professors, I could greatly expand my ability to touch others as a ceramic teacher across our community and onto others. The ability to teach in a larger setting to many students about the joys and wonders of ceramics and what it can do for them and those around them is a dream I know I could accomplish readily at VCU.