Writing Feedback / Writing - How to write an effective formal email [4]

employee letter to his manager

Hello everyone, this is my writing assignment at school and I am looking for some feedback as I am not sure if my email writing is formal enough. Thank you all for your time and your feedback.

The topic of the email is about an employee writes to his manager to discuss the training program for the employess.

Dear Mr John Robinsons,
I am Kelman Shavers from the sales team. I am writing this email to discuss about the next training program that I would like to take part in.

As you have already known, our company has just acquired Kelman Shavers, a company which is used to be our rival. For that reason, the number of sales team's members has increased significantly as the result of the buyout. However, the two sales teams do not seem to fully cooperate with each other. They do not show the team spirit as they used to work in rival situation.

Acknowledging the current situation, I would like to come up with plans or activities to connect these two distinct groups together. I suggest that our next training programs could include several workshops or seminars in which the topic should focus on several different techniques to build a good team's spirit, or ways to enhance the bond between team's members. By combining these knowledges in the training program, our sales team as well as myself can understand more about the importance of teamwork and the ways to form team's culture and how to maintain the bond in the long - term.

I hope that you take my suggestion into consideration. Please reach out to me if you would like to discuss further in the future.
Regards,
Kamal Satinder