luckyplayer777
Oct 31, 2009
luckyplayer777
Oct 30, 2009
Undergraduate / obstacle and family history, culture - UCF personal statement essay [3]
Topics:
1. If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
2. How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?
In my life, there have been a few obstacles that I have had to work around, but the main one that was hard to get over was the loss of one of my cousins. The loss of my cousin brought my whole family together as a whole not just certain people. With me I felt as if I had lost a sister and a friend. When I went to the funeral, I all I could think about was the memories that I could remember with her in it: the playing in grandmas front yard during 4th of July, the time when she let the ferret go and it climbed all over my body, and the wedding that I just saw her at not two or three months before she committed suicide. But then, I thought about all the memories that never will we have, and that's when it hit me. Getting over that might be the hardest thing that I have ever done, but with the help of my parents, brothers, and God, I got over it and just pray that nobody else has to go through this in their life time.
My family is well connected; we talk to each other every day just to see how things are doing and what is happening with them. My mom's and dad's family came from nothing growing up in the city of Chicago. They worked for everything thing that they earn, and I see that every day. They always try to push my brothers and me to the best that we possibly can. So far, it has worked with both brothers graduated from University of Florida and going on to get their masters and law degrees. When I see what my parents and brothers have accomplished, I aspire to be like them in every aspect of life.
Topics:
1. If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
2. How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?
In my life, there have been a few obstacles that I have had to work around, but the main one that was hard to get over was the loss of one of my cousins. The loss of my cousin brought my whole family together as a whole not just certain people. With me I felt as if I had lost a sister and a friend. When I went to the funeral, I all I could think about was the memories that I could remember with her in it: the playing in grandmas front yard during 4th of July, the time when she let the ferret go and it climbed all over my body, and the wedding that I just saw her at not two or three months before she committed suicide. But then, I thought about all the memories that never will we have, and that's when it hit me. Getting over that might be the hardest thing that I have ever done, but with the help of my parents, brothers, and God, I got over it and just pray that nobody else has to go through this in their life time.
My family is well connected; we talk to each other every day just to see how things are doing and what is happening with them. My mom's and dad's family came from nothing growing up in the city of Chicago. They worked for everything thing that they earn, and I see that every day. They always try to push my brothers and me to the best that we possibly can. So far, it has worked with both brothers graduated from University of Florida and going on to get their masters and law degrees. When I see what my parents and brothers have accomplished, I aspire to be like them in every aspect of life.
luckyplayer777
Oct 30, 2009
Undergraduate / First family rescue- University of Florida Essay [4]
I really enjoyed reading this essay.
The only thing is the last paragraph where is says "As a Gator in the Engineering College I hope to gain the knowledge and skills to take these beliefs and goals to the outside world. As a Gator, I bring a new perspective; one that is not afraid to say "Why not?", "How come?" or "Show me.""
Using "As a gator" twice doesn't really go together. Try "Also, as a gator, I would bring new perspectives..." in the second sentence
I really enjoyed reading this essay.
The only thing is the last paragraph where is says "As a Gator in the Engineering College I hope to gain the knowledge and skills to take these beliefs and goals to the outside world. As a Gator, I bring a new perspective; one that is not afraid to say "Why not?", "How come?" or "Show me.""
Using "As a gator" twice doesn't really go together. Try "Also, as a gator, I would bring new perspectives..." in the second sentence
luckyplayer777
Oct 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Weightlifting at American Open - UF addmissions essay [4]
topic: In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
In my high school life there has only been three things that I focus on; those 3 things are school, weightlifting, and lacrosse. My most important accomplishment though has to do with my weightlifting career. The type of weightlifting I do is the Olympic style, which deals with two lifts called the clean and jerk and snatch. Well I have been doing Olympic weightlifting for the past 3years and on my second year I qualified for the American Open as a school age lifter.
The American open was being held in Phoenix, Arizona during the month of December. I started to really train for this event during the month of February and me and my coach, Danny Camargo, set the goal for me to qualify for the event by October. When I started training for the American open I had to total 152kg (kilograms). At that time though I was only totaling 120kg, so for me to hit a 32kg p.r. (personal record) was a stretch but Danny told me that if I qualify that he would pay for my dinner at my favorite restaurant, Dave and Busters. So I started working out 6 days a week for 2 hours each day for 9 months. As time pasted I kept feeling my self get stronger and stronger every time I lifted at a local competition against other teams and people. By the time Joe Dube Classic, our biggest local competition, came I felt ready to try and qualify for the American open. The day of the competition I felt as ready as ever, so Danny made my opening attempts what I needed to qualify. So I went out there and hit all of my lifts to qualify for the American open.
Weightlifting for me opened up a new world of goals, determination, and hard work. In this sport I have worked for everything thing that I have earned, including best male athlete of 2007, most improved total of 2007 and most consistent lifter of 2008. That showed me that if I work hard enough at anything thing that I put my mind towards I can accomplish any goal, school work, and job. I know that if I work hard enough I will be top of my class when I graduate from college or that I will become a doctor one day because of what weightlifting and god has taught me.
topic: In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
In my high school life there has only been three things that I focus on; those 3 things are school, weightlifting, and lacrosse. My most important accomplishment though has to do with my weightlifting career. The type of weightlifting I do is the Olympic style, which deals with two lifts called the clean and jerk and snatch. Well I have been doing Olympic weightlifting for the past 3years and on my second year I qualified for the American Open as a school age lifter.
The American open was being held in Phoenix, Arizona during the month of December. I started to really train for this event during the month of February and me and my coach, Danny Camargo, set the goal for me to qualify for the event by October. When I started training for the American open I had to total 152kg (kilograms). At that time though I was only totaling 120kg, so for me to hit a 32kg p.r. (personal record) was a stretch but Danny told me that if I qualify that he would pay for my dinner at my favorite restaurant, Dave and Busters. So I started working out 6 days a week for 2 hours each day for 9 months. As time pasted I kept feeling my self get stronger and stronger every time I lifted at a local competition against other teams and people. By the time Joe Dube Classic, our biggest local competition, came I felt ready to try and qualify for the American open. The day of the competition I felt as ready as ever, so Danny made my opening attempts what I needed to qualify. So I went out there and hit all of my lifts to qualify for the American open.
Weightlifting for me opened up a new world of goals, determination, and hard work. In this sport I have worked for everything thing that I have earned, including best male athlete of 2007, most improved total of 2007 and most consistent lifter of 2008. That showed me that if I work hard enough at anything thing that I put my mind towards I can accomplish any goal, school work, and job. I know that if I work hard enough I will be top of my class when I graduate from college or that I will become a doctor one day because of what weightlifting and god has taught me.
