Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: The diagram shows the process of chocolate production. Summarize the information. [3]

THE PROCESS OF PRODUCING CHOCOLATE

The diagram shows how chocolate is produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The flowchart demonstrates the process of making liquid chocolate.

Looking at the graph, it can be seen that there are ten stages involve in the process, starting with the collection of cacao pods and finishing with liquid chocolate being made.

First, cacao trees are grown in S.America, Africa and Indonesia which bear the ripe cacao pods. After being harversted, the white cacao beans are collected inside the ripe cacao pods. Next, the beans then get fermented before being spread out and left in the sun to dry.

Then all the beans will be put in large packs to transports to the manufacturers by train or lorry. At the factory, the beans are roasted in high temperature at about 350 degrees. The roasted beans continue to be crushed to remove the outer shells from the inner part. Finally, liquid chocolate are made by pressing the inner part of the roasted beans. The procedure is completed

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Writing Feedback / TASK 2: Advantages and disadvantages of working or traveling for a time before higher education [4]

gap year dilemma

It is true that some students who finish high-school opt to work or travel for a period before they start university. While I accept that there are benefits and drawbacks of this decision in terms of their studies, I would argue that it is better to take a year out to work or travel.

It is true that taking a gap year before higher education to get more time for a casual job or going abroad is becoming more and more popular. Despite some obvious disadvantages of this trend, I strongly believe that these are outweighed by the advantages.

On the one hand, there are two major drawbacks when people decided to take a gap year. Firstly, the expense to go abroad these day are expensive due to plane tickets or living costs of a different country. For example, going to Australia from Vietnam would cost about 15-20 millions vnđ, not mentioning the living costs. Even working inland, the income from the jobs would not be sufficient enough to live independently thus adult still have to pay most of your expense. Secondly, a gap year will disrupt existing study habit since school is not a part of gap year. From studying to working then studying will make people feel overwhelmed by the constant changing environment. In addition, when coming back for a gap year, people tend to feel like they are slower and older than their friends who do not take a gap year.

On the other hand, I believe that the benefit are more significant than such disadvantages. One reason for this view is that, the experiences people get from a gap year is enormous. Take going abroad as an example, people will have to adapt to the new environment that they never seen before, have to meet with strangers of different languages, have to learn how to solve problems independently. From there, they will accumulate various skillset to use before becoming a student. Another reason for this is that, a gap year will prevent student from burning out and help them to perform better when studying in the university since they can feel free from stress.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of taking a short break or a gap year are more significant than the disadvantages.
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