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Posts by IncognitoRabbit
Name: Thủy Nguyên
Joined: Jun 11, 2022
Last Post: Jun 11, 2022
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: Viet Nam
School: NBK High school for the gifted

Displayed posts: 2
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IncognitoRabbit   
Jun 11, 2022
Scholarship / Studying in Japan to transform my passion into a profession [4]

@Reaper909052
I don't really get what you means by: "Since I first came into contact with a computer, I have always been fascinated with the way they operate, the programs and the codings." Personally, I thought this phrase is so weird, you could try to replace this one with another phrases. As I knew you means that you are fascinated with japanese's state-of-the-art technology, with the programs and codings.

By the way, you should put an escape after a ",": Only after finishing high school, was I able to self-study Japanese as a hobby although it wasn't much.
IncognitoRabbit   
Jun 11, 2022
Writing Feedback / IELTS ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 2: Government funding with preventive healthcare and disease treatment [3]

The prevention of health problems and health illnesses is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this.

To what extent do you agree?



Healthcare remains to be a heated debate throughout these recent centuries, especially in the Covid-19 pandemic. While numerous civilians state that governmental aid should be given in precautions of health problems rather than in medical treatment, I strongly believe that the funds be flexibly divided as they are equally important to human wellbeing.

On the one hand, preventive health care improves public health in the long-term. To put it another way, preventive care means catching problems before they become real problems. By early endowing funds to this approach, the government would lower the potential possibility of patients infecting diseases, especially the chronic ones such as type 2 diabetes or cancer. Take regular wellness checks as an example, in doing so, you would have your blood pressure tested regularly. If your healthcare professional notices that it's increasing, you can start doing things to lower your blood pressure before it becomes problematic, thus, lessening the long-term cost of disease management and saving a huge amount of funds from the national budgets aided in experiments.

On the other hand, treatment plays an important role when a preventive method is ineffective. Precisely, medical therapy is generally considered to be management and care of a patient to combat disease or disorder. Therefore, the administrator bodies presumably pay the earth for launching a full-scale investigation into a disease for it to become a lifelong knowledge that could be applied in treatment for even more than a century. The patients could then be satisfied with the assurance of their well-being sustainability, having said that the medical treatment is available after being carefully examined under unmeasurable time and funds.

In conclusion, government funding should be aided in preventive healthcare in a great amount. Nevertheless, funds in disease treatment could not be overlooked. The authorities should consider a wide spectrum of all possibilities to determine what means the best for local communities.

(Thank you very much! What band would I score with this essay, please?)
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