Hemin12
Jan 3, 2010
Undergraduate / 'Research into rare medicinal herbs' - Why Franklin and marshall college? [8]
^^ thnx for the comments..ill try to work on those sections.
^^ thnx for the comments..ill try to work on those sections.
Hemin12
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Grinnell supplement-- how you learned about grinnell [5]
^^ thank you all for the comments..
^^ thank you all for the comments..
Hemin12
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Grinnell supplement-- how you learned about grinnell [5]
Please share with us how you first learned about Grinnell College.
E=MC^2.E=MC^2. My roommate was continuously insisting me to find this formula in cut out prospectuses of various US colleges which he had newly pasted in our cubicle wall. I was excited, because it was the very E=MC^2, the most famous equation of 20th Century. I went through each and every page carefully. Suddenly, my eyes were caught by a picture that had a maze farm just like the one beside my school campus. Above the farm were the stars aligned in a certain pattern. Yes indeed, it was the equation I had been looking for; the stars were lined up to form the equation, E=MC^2.
It was the first time I encountered Grinnell College's name. I was fascinated, so I couldn't stop myself to learn more about the college. I went to my Guidance Councilor; it was through him that I came to know that Grinnell is one of the best liberal arts colleges in USA. His description and the pictures he had taken during his visit there about three years back augmented my desire to learn more. I surfed the college's website thoroughly and realized it to be the college that best suited me. So I readily applied.
PLEASE HELP ME WITH THE GRAMMAR. ALL FEEDBACKS ARE WELCOMED.
Please share with us how you first learned about Grinnell College.
E=MC^2.E=MC^2. My roommate was continuously insisting me to find this formula in cut out prospectuses of various US colleges which he had newly pasted in our cubicle wall. I was excited, because it was the very E=MC^2, the most famous equation of 20th Century. I went through each and every page carefully. Suddenly, my eyes were caught by a picture that had a maze farm just like the one beside my school campus. Above the farm were the stars aligned in a certain pattern. Yes indeed, it was the equation I had been looking for; the stars were lined up to form the equation, E=MC^2.
It was the first time I encountered Grinnell College's name. I was fascinated, so I couldn't stop myself to learn more about the college. I went to my Guidance Councilor; it was through him that I came to know that Grinnell is one of the best liberal arts colleges in USA. His description and the pictures he had taken during his visit there about three years back augmented my desire to learn more. I surfed the college's website thoroughly and realized it to be the college that best suited me. So I readily applied.
PLEASE HELP ME WITH THE GRAMMAR. ALL FEEDBACKS ARE WELCOMED.
Hemin12
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / "secretary Luisa" - Short Answer [6]
well,, i suppose you aren't answering the question to the point.. just focus on what you have done, don't waste your precious words(word limit being just 150) in describing what DDC is or what has it provided it to you. and yes, i think the luisa part should be omitted.
well,, i suppose you aren't answering the question to the point.. just focus on what you have done, don't waste your precious words(word limit being just 150) in describing what DDC is or what has it provided it to you. and yes, i think the luisa part should be omitted.
Hemin12
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / duke supplement essay: discuss why duke is a good match for you [3]
"Why don't you take a look at Duke University?" my father asked. At that moment I thought that was the worst idea, I'd ever heard.
I feel you can work to use a little moderate language.
I like the way youve put up your story while answering the question. Well done.
"Why don't you take a look at Duke University?" my father asked. At that moment I thought that was the worst idea, I'd ever heard.
I feel you can work to use a little moderate language.
I like the way youve put up your story while answering the question. Well done.
Hemin12
Dec 24, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Research into rare medicinal herbs' - Why Franklin and marshall college? [8]
I have tried to re write the essay.. If anyone can, plz help me with the grammar and language, to polish it..
I developed a profound interest in life sciences during four years of high-school. Hence, while searching for a college of my match, I looked for one that best suited my relevance. After rigorous searching, Franklin and Marshall College stood out to be my first priority. Apart from its vibrant location, nationally best faculty accessibility and a great learning environment, the two main features that put F&M at the top in my list are the excellent life-science research opportunities and the voluntary options available within the city of Lancaster.
During high school, I researched on the medical and socio-economical importance of Yarsagumba(Cordyceps sinensis) - a rare medicinal herb. I presented the research report in the "4th International Students Science Fair" organized in Ritsumeikan Senior High School, Japan. I received a huge appreciation by experts for my findings. For me, it was a huge motivation to explore deeper into natural sciences. I believe, Franklin and Marshall College - a nationally and historically recognized for its life science department - is the ideal place to give continuity to my endeavor. The biology department provides students with research opportunities that include independent study and summer fellowships. Also, the specialized faculties provide the students with intense intellectual experience that will best prepare them for a future in life sciences. Furthermore, it opens doors to wide range of career opportunities like neuroscience, public health, dentistry and veterinary medicine. I too, want to be a part of the intellectual and unique experience, and work on-hand with professors on various research activities. Therefore, I am sure that my experience at F&M will help me get a jump-start into my future career in the field of life sciences.
Last summer, when I was a part of a voluntary program focused to rehabilitate the war affected children in western Nepal, I realized that I am a privileged one and I have a responsibility to help the needy ones. Afterall, Ben Franklin had said - "Tell me and I forget; teach me and I remember; involve me and I learn." Indeed, getting involved in the social cause was an extraordinary learning experience. Similarly, I look forward to joining F&M because it gives plenty of opportunities to help capitalize my aspiration of helping people around me. As a college with a long history of concatenating students with the local community, F&M undertakes many community based projects that help students to open new horizons in social service.
In addition, the Ware Institute of Civic Management, Philadelphia Alumni Writers House and Clemente Course in the Humanities under Civic Management provide wide range of volunteer options within city of Lancaster. Be it engagement in "Big Brothers Big Sisters Mentoring Program" or "Community Engagement projects", I believe that at F&M, I will be well prepared to take not only community level responsibilities but bigger ones.
A community of highly achieving and multicultural students, college house enriching students beyond classrooms, various forms of clubs and organization, F&M engrosses all the prospects required for a student to succeed. I believe I will not only fit but thrive excellently in the F&M community.
I have tried to re write the essay.. If anyone can, plz help me with the grammar and language, to polish it..
I developed a profound interest in life sciences during four years of high-school. Hence, while searching for a college of my match, I looked for one that best suited my relevance. After rigorous searching, Franklin and Marshall College stood out to be my first priority. Apart from its vibrant location, nationally best faculty accessibility and a great learning environment, the two main features that put F&M at the top in my list are the excellent life-science research opportunities and the voluntary options available within the city of Lancaster.
During high school, I researched on the medical and socio-economical importance of Yarsagumba(Cordyceps sinensis) - a rare medicinal herb. I presented the research report in the "4th International Students Science Fair" organized in Ritsumeikan Senior High School, Japan. I received a huge appreciation by experts for my findings. For me, it was a huge motivation to explore deeper into natural sciences. I believe, Franklin and Marshall College - a nationally and historically recognized for its life science department - is the ideal place to give continuity to my endeavor. The biology department provides students with research opportunities that include independent study and summer fellowships. Also, the specialized faculties provide the students with intense intellectual experience that will best prepare them for a future in life sciences. Furthermore, it opens doors to wide range of career opportunities like neuroscience, public health, dentistry and veterinary medicine. I too, want to be a part of the intellectual and unique experience, and work on-hand with professors on various research activities. Therefore, I am sure that my experience at F&M will help me get a jump-start into my future career in the field of life sciences.
Last summer, when I was a part of a voluntary program focused to rehabilitate the war affected children in western Nepal, I realized that I am a privileged one and I have a responsibility to help the needy ones. Afterall, Ben Franklin had said - "Tell me and I forget; teach me and I remember; involve me and I learn." Indeed, getting involved in the social cause was an extraordinary learning experience. Similarly, I look forward to joining F&M because it gives plenty of opportunities to help capitalize my aspiration of helping people around me. As a college with a long history of concatenating students with the local community, F&M undertakes many community based projects that help students to open new horizons in social service.
In addition, the Ware Institute of Civic Management, Philadelphia Alumni Writers House and Clemente Course in the Humanities under Civic Management provide wide range of volunteer options within city of Lancaster. Be it engagement in "Big Brothers Big Sisters Mentoring Program" or "Community Engagement projects", I believe that at F&M, I will be well prepared to take not only community level responsibilities but bigger ones.
A community of highly achieving and multicultural students, college house enriching students beyond classrooms, various forms of clubs and organization, F&M engrosses all the prospects required for a student to succeed. I believe I will not only fit but thrive excellently in the F&M community.
Hemin12
Dec 23, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Research into rare medicinal herbs' - Why Franklin and marshall college? [8]
^^Thank you kevin for the comments.. Ill work on that part and will post the essay after i revise.. thnx once again..
^^Thank you kevin for the comments.. Ill work on that part and will post the essay after i revise.. thnx once again..
Hemin12
Dec 22, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Research into rare medicinal herbs' - Why Franklin and marshall college? [8]
^^ thnx susan.. do you think the concluding paragraph sums up the essay??? also, i was worried about the length... do you think this essay is verbose or whatsoever??
^^ thnx susan.. do you think the concluding paragraph sums up the essay??? also, i was worried about the length... do you think this essay is verbose or whatsoever??
Hemin12
Dec 21, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Research into rare medicinal herbs' - Why Franklin and marshall college? [8]
How did you first hear about Franklin and Marshall College and why did you choose to apply?
I first heard about Franklin and Marshall College from my Guidance Counselor.
Upon graduation from high school I knew that my sheer aspiration in serving my community and my interest in research of life sciences had to be amalgamated. Then I began searching for colleges that best suited my relevance. After going through virtual tours of different colleges and universities, Franklin and Marshall College stood out to be my first priority. Apart from its vibrant location, nationally best faculty accessibility and great learning environment, the two main features why F&M sits at the top of my list are the excellent undergraduate research opportunities and the voluntary options available within the city of Lancaster.
During my high school, I researched on medical and socio-economical importance of a rare medicinal herb, Yarsagumba( Cordyceps sinensis). I presented it in 4th International Students Science Fair organized in Ritsumeikan Senior High School, Japan, and received a huge appreciation by experts for my findings. It provided immense motivation to me to explore more about natural sciences. I believe, Franklin and Marshall College, nationally and historically recognized for its life science department is the ideal place to give continuity to my research endeavor. The biology department provides students with research opportunities that include independent study and summer fellowships. Also, the specialized faculties and enough resources available within the department provide students with intense intellectual experience that will best prepare them for the future. Furthermore, it opens doors to wide range of future careers like neuroscience, public health, dentistry and veterinary medicine. I too, want to be the part of such intellectual and unique experience, and work on-hand with professors on various research activities. It will not only provide concrete platform to make my interests come to reality but also broaden my scholarly horizon.
Last summer, when I was a part of a voluntary program focused to rehabilitate the war affected children in western Nepal, I realized that I, being a privileged one have responsibility to help those who are not. Like Benjamin Franklin had said "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn" getting involved in the social cause was great learning experience as well. I look forward to joining a college that gives myriad of opportunities to help materialize my aspiration of helping people around me. F&M College does just that. A college with a long history of concatenating students with the local community, F&M undertakes many community based projects that help students to open new horizons of learning and service. The Ware Institute of Civic Management, Philadelphia Alumni Writers House and Clemente Course in the Humanities under Civic Management provide wide range of volunteer options within city of Lancaster. Either it be engagement in "Big Brothers Big Sisters Mentoring Program" or "Community Engagement projects", I believe I will be best prepared to take responsibility of not only my community but my nation as well.
A community of highly achieving and multicultural students, college house enriching students beyond classrooms, various forms of clubs and organization, F&M engrosses all the prospects required for a student to succeed. I believe I will not only fit but also thrive in the F&M community.
Plz help me with the 1st part of the question and the conclusion..
id highly appreciate if somebody checked the grammar..
thnx a lot.
How did you first hear about Franklin and Marshall College and why did you choose to apply?
I first heard about Franklin and Marshall College from my Guidance Counselor.
Upon graduation from high school I knew that my sheer aspiration in serving my community and my interest in research of life sciences had to be amalgamated. Then I began searching for colleges that best suited my relevance. After going through virtual tours of different colleges and universities, Franklin and Marshall College stood out to be my first priority. Apart from its vibrant location, nationally best faculty accessibility and great learning environment, the two main features why F&M sits at the top of my list are the excellent undergraduate research opportunities and the voluntary options available within the city of Lancaster.
During my high school, I researched on medical and socio-economical importance of a rare medicinal herb, Yarsagumba( Cordyceps sinensis). I presented it in 4th International Students Science Fair organized in Ritsumeikan Senior High School, Japan, and received a huge appreciation by experts for my findings. It provided immense motivation to me to explore more about natural sciences. I believe, Franklin and Marshall College, nationally and historically recognized for its life science department is the ideal place to give continuity to my research endeavor. The biology department provides students with research opportunities that include independent study and summer fellowships. Also, the specialized faculties and enough resources available within the department provide students with intense intellectual experience that will best prepare them for the future. Furthermore, it opens doors to wide range of future careers like neuroscience, public health, dentistry and veterinary medicine. I too, want to be the part of such intellectual and unique experience, and work on-hand with professors on various research activities. It will not only provide concrete platform to make my interests come to reality but also broaden my scholarly horizon.
Last summer, when I was a part of a voluntary program focused to rehabilitate the war affected children in western Nepal, I realized that I, being a privileged one have responsibility to help those who are not. Like Benjamin Franklin had said "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn" getting involved in the social cause was great learning experience as well. I look forward to joining a college that gives myriad of opportunities to help materialize my aspiration of helping people around me. F&M College does just that. A college with a long history of concatenating students with the local community, F&M undertakes many community based projects that help students to open new horizons of learning and service. The Ware Institute of Civic Management, Philadelphia Alumni Writers House and Clemente Course in the Humanities under Civic Management provide wide range of volunteer options within city of Lancaster. Either it be engagement in "Big Brothers Big Sisters Mentoring Program" or "Community Engagement projects", I believe I will be best prepared to take responsibility of not only my community but my nation as well.
A community of highly achieving and multicultural students, college house enriching students beyond classrooms, various forms of clubs and organization, F&M engrosses all the prospects required for a student to succeed. I believe I will not only fit but also thrive in the F&M community.
Plz help me with the 1st part of the question and the conclusion..
id highly appreciate if somebody checked the grammar..
thnx a lot.
Hemin12
Nov 27, 2009
Undergraduate / I opted for Science Stream in 11th Grade, PROMPT 1 FOR UC APPLICATION [6]
can you post the question too, so that it wuld be easier to figure out which question are you actually addressing?
can you post the question too, so that it wuld be easier to figure out which question are you actually addressing?
Hemin12
Nov 9, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay on my Research Activity -- Yarsagumba [5]
^^ EF Kevin.. thank you for helping... do you think the essay needs a conclusion? like the one i wrote "It encouraged me to proceed ahead for further clinical experimentation which can prove beneficial to the entire world."... just a view...
^^ EF Kevin.. thank you for helping... do you think the essay needs a conclusion? like the one i wrote "It encouraged me to proceed ahead for further clinical experimentation which can prove beneficial to the entire world."... just a view...
Hemin12
Nov 8, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay on my Research Activity -- Yarsagumba [5]
In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) - (150 words or fewer).
Last summer, I researched on the medical and socio-economic importance of Yarsagumba(scientifically, Cordyceps Sinensis). It was an outcome of strenuous field visits and continuous laboratory experiments. I had made my way to many mountainous areas of my country where people shut schools and offices for months in search of this rare medicinal herb. During my two week long visit, I not only recorded the economical statistics but also realized the hardships people face there due to lack of money. I realized that the risk during the search was worth taking. Later, I with the help of other bio-technicians experimented on various chemical constituents of Yarsagumba and found that this medicinal herb could be used for curing heart and lungs diseases. I presented my research paper in 4th International Students' Science Fair, Japan which helped me in gaining enough support for further scientific experimentation. I realized that my effort could not only serve in promoting the living standard of people in those mountainous areas of my nation but also in people all around the world.
My essay crosses the word limit. please help me with suggestions about shortening the essay. I would be grateful if you could find grammatical errors and provide corrections..
In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) - (150 words or fewer).
Last summer, I researched on the medical and socio-economic importance of Yarsagumba(scientifically, Cordyceps Sinensis). It was an outcome of strenuous field visits and continuous laboratory experiments. I had made my way to many mountainous areas of my country where people shut schools and offices for months in search of this rare medicinal herb. During my two week long visit, I not only recorded the economical statistics but also realized the hardships people face there due to lack of money. I realized that the risk during the search was worth taking. Later, I with the help of other bio-technicians experimented on various chemical constituents of Yarsagumba and found that this medicinal herb could be used for curing heart and lungs diseases. I presented my research paper in 4th International Students' Science Fair, Japan which helped me in gaining enough support for further scientific experimentation. I realized that my effort could not only serve in promoting the living standard of people in those mountainous areas of my nation but also in people all around the world.
My essay crosses the word limit. please help me with suggestions about shortening the essay. I would be grateful if you could find grammatical errors and provide corrections..
