Undergraduate / UofM Ross School of Business: Starting your own organization or project [9]

Essay for preferred admission into the Ross School of Business. Looking for critiques or advice. Word limit (approximately 500 words). Mine is at 640 right now.
Thanks

Assume you would like to start an organization or project in your community right now to accomplish a particular goal.
1) Describe your organization or project, briefly identify why it is important to you, and explain the steps you would take to start it.
2) How, specifically, might your education at UM and the Ross School of Business affect your approach to the same project if you were to start it after you graduated from college?

Giving Back

I credit my cultural identity to the Ukrainian-American community in Chicago. As a child I was given guidance and education through weekly lessons at the "Ukrainian Heritage School." Being raised in a middle-class family, I took education for grant it, never realizing the struggles that children in rural Ukraine face. The restricted social development in rural parts of Ukraine has caused many children to be pulled from school. The Ukrainian government has attempted to solve the problem, but due to insufficient funds "construction of over 349 schools, 61 infant schools, 111 health care institutions, and 151 culture institutions has not been finished in rural areas." Being a developing country, the education of Ukraine's youth is crucial to its economic success. My goal is to make education more accessible and effective within rural Ukrainian villages.

To accomplish my goals, I would create the "USSF" (Ukrainian Student Support Foundation). The USSF would be a nonprofit organization that relies on tax deductable donations. By showing Ukrainian-American students the poor conditions of rural schools, I hope to create a link between students in America and students in Ukraine. After donating to the foundation, patrons will be given a picture and profile of the student(s) that they are supporting. Each donation will go towards finishing the rural schools and supplying them with necessary materials (e.g. pens, pencils, and paper). To become a "gold level" sponsor one must make a donation of two hundred dollars: just enough money to buy one "Asus eee pc" netbook. By giving the students laptops, I hope to give Ukrainian students incentive to continue learning. A laptop could act as a library of information, providing useful resources to both students and teachers. An added benefit would be the opportunity for Ukrainian students in America to chat with rural Ukrainian students. This mutual relationship will benefit both parties by enhancing Ukraine's schools and allowing Ukrainian-American students to practice their speaking skills.

I would start by visiting the various Ukrainian schools within Chicago. There I would show a multimedia presentation to captivate the young audience and create a demand for participation. From there the children would act as marketers, persuading their parents to help the foundation. After allowing the news to spread throughout the community, I would create a formal charity ball. At the event I will give a short presentation of how easy it is to help rural Ukrainian students get a better education. The supporters can sign up by creating an online account and choosing a payment plan. Each patron's name will be inscribed on a plaque to commemorate his or her generosity. The USSF provides privileged Ukrainian-Americans with a unique opportunity to support future sons and daughters of Ukraine.

This goal involves a great deal of hard work to accomplish. Without the proper skills and knowledge, a project like this could quickly fail. An education from the Ross School of Business would supply me with ideal tools to take on such a large goal. There are a number of ways that my goal could become a financial disaster or even illegal. By studying at the Ross School of Business I would learn how to manage the funds that come from donations and set up a nonprofit account. After college, I would approach the goal with knowledge of the subject and much more confidence. Using business tactics, I would set up a team of workers to divide the workload and foster efficiency. With knowledge from the University of Michigan, I could expand my foundation to include students across America working to help underprivileged students in multiple nations (Underprivileged Student Support Foundation). When looking for advice or another opinion, I will be able to reach out to thousands of experienced alumni who are willing to help out a fellow "Wolverine." The Ross School of Business: A foundation for my future.

Undergraduate / Help me decide which essay to use for the common application... [8]

I cannot decide between these two essays. Tell me what you think and your opinion on which one will be received better by an admissions officer. I would also appreciate any corrections.

thanks!

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

BAM! The gun goes off and the race has begun. The exhilaration of running a race is a feeling that I will never forget. While everyone else in grade school loathed the Presidential Fitness Test "mile run," I would sit in my class counting the minutes until gym. This was my chance to show all those basketball, soccer, baseball, and football kids that I was good at something too. Year by year I would run this standardized "mile run" and one thing remained constant: I always won.

At the time, I knew little about track and even less about cross country so I attempted to steer my athletic interests to the sport for "all American boys": football. I was eager to play but soon realized that coaches didn't see me as the star player that I imagined in my mind. My bout with football frustrated me; I never thought a sport could involve so much bench warming. If anything, this period of my life taught me humility.

It wasn't until middle school that Mr. Todnem convinced me to try cross country. He was the coach and thought I would be a decent competitor. After my failure in football, I was intimidated by the thought of approaching a new sport. With hesitation, I signed up and decided that I would give it my best shot. Before I knew what I had gotten into, I started to win races. As middle school progressed so did my love for running.

As I entered high school, I knew what sports were for me: cross country and track. I entered as a top freshman and for the first time felt valued by fellow teammates. Running gave me mental strength and taught me to push my body harder than I had ever thought possible. It matched my athletic ability in a way no other sport could.

Junior year was a nightmare in which I realized I could no longer run. During seemingly easy workouts, I fell behind with excruciating shin pain. After weeks of trying to cope with the pain, I visited a doctor. The blood rushed out of my face when I heard the single word "surgery." For the first time, I was speechless.

Since this experience I have grown, but I still feel pain every time I hear the results of a cross country meet. For a long time I refused to reflect on my emotions, but their impact has taught me many valuable lessons. Instead of allowing this loss to consume my life, I focused on finding other talents. My experience has reached full circle as I once again face the fears of trying something new.

With my athletic talent on hold, I embraced my artistic talents. Throughout my life I had learned Ukrainian folk dancing, but I was never very good. Once I focused all of my energy towards dance, I started to notice the changes. Slowly I moved towards the front row and regained the confidence that running once gave me.

When one door closed, others were opened. Through losing one talent, I gained new ones and was able to embrace a side of myself that I was unfamiliar with. Though once negative, I am now able to reflect and see this experience as having a positive impact on my life.

or

A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

I am Ukrainian.

My family is 100% Ukrainian. My first language was Ukrainian. I speak, write, sing, dance, and dream in Ukrainian.

I was born in America: I am white.

I get to the demographics portion of a test and hesitantly fill in the bubble: "Caucasian". A vague term defined as "a human racial classification distinguished especially by very light to brown skin pigmentation and straight to wavy or curly hair, and including peoples indigenous to Europe, northern Africa, western Asia, and India." By this definition Asians, Indians, and African Americans should all fill in the same bubble: Caucasian.

Is this not modern racism? I have spent my entire life embracing my Ukrainian heritage, yet I am forced to associate myself with the race-less "Caucasian" bubble. Automatically I am grouped with millions of "Caucasian" people: the majority. One #2 pencil is the only tool I need to erase my cultural identity. Am I really that generic? Hardly.

I don't embrace my culture because I am forced to or because it's convenient; I embrace it because it's what makes me different from the majority. My parents influenced my childhood through Ukrainian dance, church, school, and summer camps. I admit most of my cultural identity comes from my parents, but I have chosen to continue embracing my heritage on my own.

About a year ago, I decided to start a Ukrainian band named "Klopit". The band is becoming quite successful within the Ukrainian community and the experience has showed me the importance of culture in my life. I had always enjoyed music and had vocal talent, but I never realized that applying my American talents to my Ukrainian culture could have such an enormous outcome. Through my band I am able to see the benefits of diversity. It makes us unique and sets us apart from regular American bands. Reflecting on the past year, I have learned the importance of creating my own character. My cultural diversity gives me and my music individuality. I bring with me a fusion of Ukrainian-American culture and a deep respect for diversity.

I am more than a dark circle next to the word Caucasian.
I am anything but the majority.
I define myself.