Posts by sandeepsista

sandeepsista

Nov 12, 2009

Undergraduate / 'Enough Is As Good As A Feast' - Common App Essay-An Important Person, a student of mine [6]

Hi,

1. You have taken it well in the begining but some where in the second para i got lost.
You can start like:

"She was a young girl full of enthusiasm...so on and so forth. This was you are making the story intresting and projecting the qualities that made their mark on you.

2. A person who has left his/her mark in your life will be cherished life long. I gues you can get a situation into the essay that demonstartes your learnings from the child and how you are taking it forward long after she is gone...

3. I like the title of the essay...and it matches with the last para...but may be you can rethink of structuring the essay in a way the you start with the last and then tell your story...

e.g

Start with

"'Why are you so happy? I mean, don't you have to worry about your present hard condition?' I regretted asking her the moment I let out my questions, which seemed too hard and cruel for a 12-year-old girl to answer. But she just blinked her-full-of-hope-and-contentment eyes and said 'Well, maybe because everything is great enough for me already. You know, enough is as good as a feast.'

She was a girl full of entusiasm and her eyes full of hope and contentment...her name was ...who used to clean my dorm every day.

Hope you get what i mean!

all the best!

good luck with the essay.

sandeepsista

Nov 12, 2009

Undergraduate / Essay on career progression/goals and how MBA would help in the long run [5]

Hi linmark,

Thanks for the feedback. I am working on the review comments given and will get back soon.

BTW:
i thought "big four" would be clear coz they are McKinzey, KPMG, Delloitte and EY. But if it is not clear will put a specific name :)...let me know your thoughts.

Thanks a ton!

sandeepsista

Nov 12, 2009

Undergraduate / Essay on career progression/goals and how MBA would help in the long run [5]

thanks yangsk8er will try bringing up the next version soon. Will help if you could elaborate more on it :)

sandeepsista

Nov 11, 2009

Undergraduate / Essay on career progression/goals and how MBA would help in the long run [5]

Hi All,

Requesting your review comments for the essay.

Question is on career progression and how MBA would help in meeting long-term career goals.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference - Robert Frost

Six months ago I had two roads to choose from, one as a consultant and the other as a social reformer.
Since my first job, I have envisioned myself as a strategic consultant in a big four consulting firm. I worked towards building my credibility and knowledge by authoring international papers, gaining certifications and working with the best consulting firms in India.

In 2006, I became part of a mission- Ensure quality education at affordable costs to children from poor economic backgrounds; I had stepped into my wife's charitable organization. Though our mission is to ensure education, most of the families we deal with find it difficult to even dream of education. I not only work with the families to convince them on providing their children good education but also work with them to build their cash inflow.

Soon I realized what I was working on was just the tip of the iceberg. I had a bigger challenge of providing a sustainable solution to these families.

After graduating I want to develop my institution along with my wife and expand its network that will collectively work for a common objective.
ISB for me is a place where I will not only gain knowledge but also forge my thought process. The intense one year programme will build my knowledge and mettle to take on and work on my purpose. Also, WCED at ISB is a place where a lot of students have launched their passion, and I would like to make the best use of this excellent facility to build on what I believe in.

It would be great if you could help me build this essay as a stand alone, though the essay is backed up by other essays.