Undergraduate / UC Essay Prompt 1- my family from Mexico [6]

This is my first draft of my essay for this prompt. please, tear this up and have no mercy whatsoever! i need lots of help.

Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Every time I cross the border into Mexico, I get a glimpse of a poor, homeless woman with a child on her back on the busy streets of Tijuana trying to sell candy to support her family. As she unsuccessfully attempts to try to make a miniscule fortune by going car to car, I get a good picture of her face conveying nothing more than sadness and disparity. I have the urge to roll down my window and give her the spare change that I have, but the light turns green and I move on; the woman's face becomes nothing more than a mere memory. It is moments like these that I come to realize the many things that my parents have undergone when they used to live in Mexico. My family, especially my parents, has always been the center of my world. Their support derives from the cruel, limited opportunities they faced in Mexico and fuels the potential in me to exceed in the things I do.

Each new sunrise brings a constant reminder of how fortunate I am to be able to live the life I have and to grow up in an ideal environment. My parents, who came to the United States from Mexico in search of the "American Dream," constantly remind me to value education and to believe in the promises it holds for me in the future. They tell me stories about the hardships they faced and the limited opportunities that were available to them when they used to live in Mexico. Through their experiences, my parents were trying to remind me that I shouldn't waste the resources that I fortunately have and use them to my advantage.

Despite the hardships my parents faced, they were still able to support me in the things that I do everyday. Just like they had to make sacrifices to obtain a better life in the United States, they made sacrifices for me to obtain the best education and a better life. They would help me with my schoolwork or take me to my sporting events despite the idea that they had a rough day. I'm always reminded by my parents to never stop dreaming about the goals that I want to accomplish. With the support that they've been offering, I was able to succeed in becoming an excellent student and one of the strongest, diverse tri-athletes in my county. Through my parent's values and support, I was able to grow as an individual and use those attributes on the things I do on my own.

Through their support and the sacrifices that they have done for me, my family has shaped my dreams and aspirations to become a successful person. They taught me the importance of believing in myself and to use the resources that I have to my advantage. I've have always considered the challenge of trying to become part of the world of medicine and the opportunities it has for me to make a difference. The sacrifices of my parents have taught me that if I want to become part of the world of medicine, I too need to make sacrifices to achieve my goals. By becoming part of the world of medicine, I want to make a difference in the world by helping those who are less fortunate, such as the woman on the street.

Undergraduate / Volunteering at the hospital program made me proud and led to the person that I am today. [9]

Prompt #2 (all applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Whether it'd be a kettle corn stuck in my little brother's ear canal or severe sickness that had inflicted the health of my grandfather, I have always been intrigued by the many things that doctors have been able to do for my family. Through the many trips that my family has taken to the hospital due to various reasons, I have become fond of the hospital and its many wonders. After all the things that the medical field has done for me and my family, I decided to contribute to my local hospital to volunteer and help out those who pay visits to the hospital

Through the volunteer program at my hospital, I was able to gain a small first hand account of the various things that go on in the hospital and the bountiful opportunities that it has for me to help others. I was given the opportunity to help others and contribute to not just the hospital, but to my community through new, intricate ways. The volunteer program didn't just teach me how to gain leadership, but how to use that leadership to help others in the hospital and around the community. It also broke the silent, shy personality that was within me and created a new one where I was more open to help people in and out of the hospital. Once, I was told to escort an unfriendly elderly woman to her third floor room. Despite her nature, I was able to begin a friendly conversation with her and learn new things about her life. It seemed that each new day at the hospital created a new quality in me that benefited not just the hospital but the community as a whole.

Volunteering at the hospital program made me proud and led to the person that I am today. I am more involved in helping others around the community and more open to people then I have ever have been before. From using the leadership I gained at the hospital and the abilities to use it, I am able to help people in all different types of situations and lead others. To be able to help people even more than I previously had makes me feel more accomplish. Sometimes I wonder about the possibilities of becoming part of the medical field and extending the value of helping others through the field. But for now, every time that I go through the double automatic doors to do my weekly volunteering, it's another opportunity for me to extend my hand to the community and to add more character in the diverse personality that I already have.