Writing Feedback / 'household computers and internet' - Causal Analysis [2]

How can I improve on this paper? Should I add some examples?

Ever since the arrival of household computers and the internet, information and communication have become quick and easily accessible. Along with the sudden growth in technology, the internet has become an everyday tool, a tool which allows people to connect with the rest of the world, whether with those close to home or with those on the other side of the world. Some of the many ways one may use the internet are research, email, advertisement, music and, of course, the ever popular social networks such as MySpace and FaceBook. MySpace and FaceBook allow people to communicate with others, rebel against their parents' wishes of them not having a MySpace or FaceBook, and most importantly, allow the users to express their individuality.

On August 15, 2003, intermix media launched MySpace 1.0, and since 2003 has grown to accommodate over two hundred million users, with about 230,000 new users registering every day (A Brief History of MySpace). As the world's largest social networking website, MySpace has rocketed to popularity over the past four years gaining attention from a wide age group of thirteen to thirty year olds, as well as musicians and companies such as Harper Teen and Forefront Record Label. Right behind MySpace is FaceBook, which is the second largest social networking website. FaceBook started in February of 2004 and has grown to include more than fifty-five million active users (Yadav).

Much of MySpace and FaceBook's popularity is due to their simple and effortless methods for mass and private communication, along with the rebellious nature of teens who wish to displease their parents, and the desire for individuality. People are always looking for ways to keep up with others, and teens are drawn into whatever seems to displease their overbearing parents. However important these two factors may seem to play in the spreading popularity of MySpace and FaceBook, it seems that individuality is the main factor. In a day and age where society screams for people to all conform, it seems all the more compelling to go the other way and stand out, be an individual.

MySpace and FaceBook both allow users to customize their page along with adding their own pictures, videos, and songs. It seems as though today people spend more time decorating their MySpace and FaceBook pages than their own rooms. Teens have been known to spend anywhere from a few minutes a day to five or six hours on MySpace, editing their profiles, posting bulletins and pictures, along with listening to music and watching videos. The ability to personalize one's own MySpace or FaceBook profile enables users to present themselves to the world as they would like to be perceived, not robotic or generic. MySpace and FaceBook have developed a new type of computer and internet using generation, a generation that is able to express themselves through a series of HTML codes and fancy backgrounds, and this way to express individuality is what keeps people coming back to social networking sites such as MySpace and FaceBook.

Due to MySpace and FaceBook's unique qualities and ability to accommodate its users' personalities, these social networks will continue to grow. Their popularity is continuously expanding while users continue to express their need individuality. People love expressing themselves, and whether through their art, pictures, videos, songs or crazy and complicated layouts, MySpace and FaceBook have both provided an environment and the tools necessary to allow this type of unique and addicting individuality.

Undergraduate / 'Greece lengthy security line' - Significant experience and its impact - personal [3]

I'm stuck... and I'm not sure if this makes any sense to anyone beside myself. I was wondering if you have any suggestions on how to edit this. I had over 800 words for an essay for my English class and reduced it to 661 (I'm hoping to get it under 500 words), and now I think it's a mess, probly due the fact that I suck at grammar. I also wanted to show what happened, but my editting caused me to resort to telling... I'm also not sure about the ending...

It was quite the sight really, twenty teenagers and six adults racing through London's very own Heathrow Airport like a flock of wandering birds that just so happened to be disoriented after making a treacherous and long flight. However, much worse was yet to come, at least for me. Traveling with a large group can have its pros and cons, but while traveling overseas, the cons seem to out weigh the pros. After all it is very difficult to rally up twenty teenagers in another country. Nevertheless, it can teach a person how to not overreact and to just take on one cataclysmic situation at a time.

Somehow in all of the confusion of getting through the maze of lines and rules, which the airport likes to call security, I had managed to separate myself from the group of matching red and blue t-shirts. At first I wasn't worried, in fact I was quite content having no one to watch over my every move; what seventeen year old would not jump at the chance of a little bit of freedom? Plus traveling abroad was something that I was very accustomed to, and all I needed to do was get through security, get on the plane, meet up with my youth group, and enjoy the flight to Athens, Greece. However, that was easier said than done.

While waiting in the lengthy security line, I heard an announcement from above unveil some very important knowledge concerning my flight. "Last boarding call for British Airline flight 0640 to Athens, Greece. LAST boarding call." As soon as those words were digested and absorbed by my brain, my heart began to work over time, pounding rapidly against the inside of my chest. I was petrified. All different types of scenarios popped into my head and none of them ended well.

Making a mad dash from one gate to another, I ran through the airport, desperately attempting to reach my connecting flight. After leaving the security gate I had abandoned the thought of replacing my converse to their rightful place on my feet, due to time constraints, and instead opted to carry the black and white tennis shoes. So there I was with dangling shoes, boarding pass, passport, and an unzipped book bag in hand, bolting through the busy terminal and maneuvering through the crowds. I dreaded what would happen if I didn't board the plane before it decided to leave me all alone in chilly London.

After blindly running through the terminal in search of my gate, I glanced down at my boarding pass only to realize that it did not have the gate number on it. So there I was, barefoot, lost, and overwhelmed, standing alone in the middle of a sea people. However, about two minutes later I saw one red and three blue blurs whiz by me, and I recognized those blurs. They were my best friends, who apparently were also lost, but they did know the gate number. Together we quickly made it to the gate only to discover that the flight was held back for another thirty minutes since most of its passengers were caught up in the security line. So after waiting another thirty minutes the rest of the youth group caught up with us, and we boarded the plane along with all its tardy passengers.

After that incident I made sure to always keep up with the group and be on time. I also learned that no matter what situation I may be in, having a mental breakdown will not make it any better. Instead I learned to just breathe, calm down and think things over logically. Lastly I also realized that I must always keep an eye out for my red and blue flock of birds; because I may be compared to a bird, but it does not mean that I will ever be able to fly away from my problems like a bird does an approaching storm.