Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by ganadara000
Joined: Nov 29, 2009
Last Post: Dec 24, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
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ganadara000   
Dec 24, 2009
Undergraduate / regional Science Olympiad - "How Did You Get Caught?" Essay [4]

Hey, answering your posted question:
So, I believe that this essay focuses greatly upon personal ambitions (sorry if the word sounds cruel); however the first few sentences introduces some of your past glories. In my opinion, I would keep that; it broadens your academic scope as well as providing a nice hook.

Overall, the essay is great. It provides the officers with your dreams and how you became caught in them. But, I think it would be better to have a little more reference to the topic of being caught, instead of having so much imagery and detail cloud the true focus of the essay. Yes, I know that those amplify the meaning that you intend, but some of it can cloud the focus. That's my opinion.

Great job!
ganadara000   
Dec 8, 2009
Undergraduate / Common App Essay "Shower Dreams" [10]

Sorry, although this essay leaves a strong impression on the reader, what kind of impression do you want to leave? I do not undrestand the question being answered.

But the essay is amazing with all the imagery and stuff!
ganadara000   
Dec 8, 2009
Undergraduate / Brown University supplement: What don't you know? [6]

Amazing essay! Short, compact, but powerful! Yes, it is a bit repetitive on what you "know" and "don't know." Try to find different methods of refering to them, like a colon or something.
ganadara000   
Dec 8, 2009
Undergraduate / "My very own song" Common App Essay about my life as an exchange student [6]

"Each day, I am learning a totally new and unfamliar culture, a whole new society"
This can be rephrased to avoid awkardness in the sentence.
To me, it sounds better that way, but it can be improved.

The main idea of the story is unique, espeically, the introduction. Keep at it!
ganadara000   
Nov 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Perfect School Balance - Northwestern Statement [5]

Perfect Balance in School for Better Change



I laughed at myself when I thought about partying in college while pursuing my education seriously. To me, both remained polar opposites of each other; if I chose to live the life of a partying college student, I would not excel in academics. On the other hand, if I studied earnestly that I neglected my friends, my social life would crumble before I even graduated. However, when I visited Northwestern over the summer of 2009, I found the solution to my question.

From what I heard on my visit, Northwestern students know how to enjoy life. Northwestern University consists of countless Greek societies, providing connections to various diverse people in the school. Yet, the school does not limit itself to the Greek societies; Northwestern University sponsors other numerous organizations and clubs based on religion, athletics, and academics. This school provides students the opportunity to explore their interests beyond education.

Aside from school-oriented activities and clubs, Northwestern students hold the power to stimulate change. This change ranges from a graffiti on the famous "Rock" to a student-led organization. When my guide, Kim, showed us the "Rock," I could not help chuckling. The "Rock" had pictures and messages all over it. Kim started telling us the story of how the "Rock" came to be with its old freshman and seniors. This showed me how much freedom that the school endows to its students. I could not help but admire the administration and their respect for their students.

Although the school seems to ease on the students' focus of education, in fact, it is quite the opposite. The study groups during the weekdays and Northwestern's remarkable library collection provokes students to study. The faculty to student ratio of 7 to 1 allows students to seek genuine help from professors. Northwestern University provides challenging and rigorous studies, thus improving and expanding students' knowledge and thoughts. The academic competitiveness of the school evokes the students to focus on their studies as well.

There are a lot of other small qualities that tempt me to choose Northwestern over all the other schools, such as the skyline view of Chicago or the free bus to downtown. But my main reason is the excellent balance between academics and social life. In some colleges, the workload is tremendous, providing the students with no absolute freedom because of the constant pressure. Other schools render the students with too much freedom, demoting the pursuit of a successful education. However, Northwestern is devoid of such issues. To me, Northwestern represents the perfect balance.
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