Undergraduate / "Stay. I love you, but if it hurts to live, then go.", New to college essays [10]

I'm an international student and im new to this whole essay writing thing. please comment :)

This is for the influential person in your life:

"Stay. I love you, but if it hurts to live, then go," my mother said softly to the little spasmodic boy on her lap as tears rolled down her face. This room was a familiar place for her; she had been here numerous times on her nursing shifts. But never had she thought that on this day, it would be her own son attached to the IV.

Words are not enough to describe the love and adoration I have for this boy. They cannot portray his beautiful smile when his stomach is full and his diaper is clean. They are incapable of depicting the pain he has gone through; the torment of seizures, swine flu, brain surgeries, and pneumonia. They barely suffice the emotions my family experiences when illness strikes him; tears swarm our faces as we pray fanatically, watching the sickness take away the twinkle in his eyes. Nothing in any language can describe the joy he brings and the warmth he creates in gloomy situations. No articulation can adequately describe my lovable older brother.

Two decades ago, my mother received a beautiful gift of a little boy in her belly. Coming from a meager family of twelve, my mother's first born son would be all her hopes and dreams, pioneer in the future that she never had. She laid all her trusts with her obstetrician best friend.

On what was supposed to be the happiest day of my parent's lives, hope crumbled into pieces the instant the heedless doctor reached for his metal tongs and pulled out my brother's fetal head. My parents had to throw away every little toys and books they had bought because the boy would not be able to read, talk, or walk. My brother was then diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy.

Many times the boundary of life and death for my brother was nothing more than a fine line, with only us holding him back with our love. My instincts tell me that by his own willpower to live, he fought death itself to this day. I know that deep inside him, he understands. He feels pain and knows what is going on, how much his family loves him, and he wants to be here.

When I was young, I had always pondered on how our lives would be if my brother was not disabled, would my parents be less tired and have less sag under their eyes? Would I finally be able to study for my tests without worrying whether he has eaten or not? I came to realize that he was a gift; a bond that held our family together, a scaffold for my goals and also a gift to all disabled children in Thailand. My brother laid out my future for me, the hardship that I have seen him and his people face has numbed me from my own self-pity and opened me up to a world of reality. They all fought hard to live and someone needs to make this cruel world a better place for them.

Every day before I go to school, I give my brother a kiss on the cheek in the early morning. He greets the day with a big smile, a grin so big his gums dry up. He looks forward to another day of sounds from the TV, three courses of delicious blender meals, and love from his family. He is a 20 year old baby who knows no evil, sinless and pure. He makes me smile when he is happy, he makes me cry when he is in pain, and his picture in my wallet reminds me what my purpose is. Bless his heart, for he introduced his sister to the real value of life. He taught me how to love unconditionally. He is my muse, my inspiration, my impelling force, and my dedication. Mere words can never express the love I have for my brother.