Undergraduate / Specific BFA program - university entrance essay [2]

A short written composition in English of no more than 400 words explaining why you are uniquely qualified to enter a specific BFA program. Hello editor, i need some help to improve on this essay and please advice on whether i am out of point. Thank you!

I love watching films and I am sure you love it too. Films play a significant role in our lives; they inspire, educate, and when people are sick of the reality of life, they see it as a form of escapism, as an avenue into another world. Film also plays a very good cupid in giving me a reason to ask Dawn out on a movie date who has since become my girlfriend.

I developed a keen interest in filmmaking and photography after my foundation year at Ngee Ann Polytechnic - Film sound & Video. As a person who feels strongly for his ideas and also having the passion to make his idea a reality; I have worked hard and prepared well for every pitching session in class. Most of my ideas have become a reality and I have the honour to direct them with a team that shares the same vision.

For my script writing class, I have learnt that it is through your personal experience that you can write an honest and exceptional story, one that communicates with people and leaves the viewer a changed person. I got an A grade for my script 'Solace' and went on to make the story a reality in my Final Year Project.

Commitment, teamwork and believing in what you do are the key ingredients to success as I have shown by winning the Best Video Award for a short film - 'Solace'. My group has the best story and the lowest budget and this proves that having a good story that is captivating is more important than anything else. 'Solace' went on to be screened at the 47th BRNO Sixteen Czech Republic and it was also in competition at the FIKE 2006 Festival Évora International Short Film Festival.

I had also won First Prize in Photography at the 2003 "The Creative Writing Competition" from Singapore Polytechnic with my black and white stills from my photography class. I went on to work in the industry as an assistant producer. The experiences in dealing with clients and working with the professionals have further prepared me for greater challenges.

It is a long way to become a successful filmmaker who entertains, inspires and changes people's lives but I believe with my attributes; I will succeed.

Writing Feedback / Entrance essay: describe a person who has had an influence in you. [2]

Hello all i am a bad writer and i am trying to write an entrance essay for an University Admission and the topic to write is stated above. Please advice on how i can improve it further, thanks a million!

This is a tough question as there are so many people that have influenced me in some way or another. If I were to choose one person, he/she must be someone close to my heart and that would be my mother. I really admire my mother as she has to work everyday and still take care of the 3 mischievous boys in my family - my father, my elder brother and me.

My mother is an extraordinary woman and the things she does for the family is unimaginable. For the past 20 years, no matter rain or shine, my parents have to wake up at 3am every morning where most of the people are still comfortably asleep. They have a humble food stall where they sell 'Chui Kueh' - a traditional Chinese rice cake in a hawker centre. My parents have to bear the constant heat from the stoves and also occasionally difficult and demanding customers, just to bring home the bread and butter.

After a hard day tolling at the stall, my dad will rest while my mother still has to do housework and make sure there is dinner for us. She hardly has time for herself and it is only at night where after she has done the dishes, she will indulge herself in the latest Korean dramas on T.V.

My mother looks like any other aunty on the street but what lies beneath is a benevolent soul with perseverance that forms the backbone of my family. It is the sheer willpower and self-sacrificing that my mother demonstrates everyday that not only inspire me the strength to overcome everyday obstacles, but also leaves me with invaluable life lessons.

I can never thank my mother enough for what she has given me; I own my strength to my mother.