Posts by ZuluYaN

ZuluYaN

Dec 22, 2009

Undergraduate / Perfect School Balance - Northwestern Statement [8]

It is generally good, but looked more like an advertisement though.

Also, I see not response to the question "In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?"

ZuluYaN

Dec 22, 2009

Undergraduate / MMSS program, Why Northwestern? [3]

To correct a few points:

First, though NU does good in developing the intimacy between students and profs. The class side of Weinberg is generally 100-150. But NU's small graduate class do say welcome to undergraduates.

As a minor factor, I doubt the value of your first paragraph.

And I also put a question on the necessary connection between your experience (a good one though) and your commitment to economics conclusion.

ZuluYaN

Dec 22, 2009

Undergraduate / Northwestern Supplement - Why Northwestern? [4]

I like your essay.

Especially the latter half.

In fact I do think you should list fewer facts of NU, Ao knows there are 2000 courses and 50 majors so they don't need you to repeat. What you do need to demonstrate is what these courses are going to do to YOU. Like you did in the latter half.

Not everyone had an experience of three country and two cultures, since NU loved diversity, you got your edge, so enlarge it, talk more of your life on the frontier.

ZuluYaN

Dec 22, 2009

Undergraduate / Northwestern supplement:: "A second chance" [6]

It definitely had some touching spots. Story of your home country

You may consider the following tips:

1.Why frame this story under "a second chance?". It maybe stunning, but does not bring positive impression though. I do think the essay will look better if you get rid of it.

2.You have concern for your own country, great! But it seemed you left NU out of your plan, only as a step-stone for your future dream? I am afraid AO won't be happy.

3.If your are worrying about the health condition, why chose Weinberg instead of Feinberg School of Medicine?

kda013 has some valid points, i suggest you make NU more visible in this piece.

Best wishes

ZuluYaN

Dec 22, 2009

Undergraduate / An Essay on Family. UC essay [2]

This is an essay originally written for UC app. I am considering put it into other use. So, bring on any criticism. Thx in Advance!

Prompt:Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

TEXT:

A hill sat against our front door. On any mid-autumn day when the sun was mild and his heart light, father and I would go over the range to a patch of clearing on the south slope. We would sit down and chat.

The fading sun dyed sky violet. A kite, ocean blue with a white tail, floated into our sight, twirling, descending and was about to land. Two kids ran after it, laughing, screaming and jumping.

Father fell silent.

I smiled, looking up, father was too: a shallow smile, hardly visible.

Father came in the city ghetto, in a flat a little bigger than a toilet. For the first years of his life, father did his homework under blinking candles. Grandma had no job; the family lived on grandpa's modest salary and the days were harsh. On his 10th birthday, father sobbed to grandpa because grandma's decision for him to drop school. Grandpa frowned. He asked father: "Do you really want school?"

Father nodded.

"Then you are allowed to go."

Grandpa smiled. Father cried.

33 years had passed since that cry; one thing never wavered was that smile: bachelor, master and PhD, father always pursued the dream that smile had promised, like what he always told me: "People are allowed to run for any dream that fall on them, like kids running for a kite."

Dreams make life a kaleidoscope, colorful kites in a mild mid-autumn sky. I saw this one was falling, up in the sky, with a golden bear pattern.

And I run for it.

I run.

-THE END-