cattiesim
Dec 23, 2009
Undergraduate / "a liberal person" - Brown supplement- [6]
emotional roller coaster is a cliche! Avoid it! Reword that and then it's good.
emotional roller coaster is a cliche! Avoid it! Reword that and then it's good.
cattiesim
Dec 23, 2009
Undergraduate / Stanford Roommate Essay-One of the weirdest things you may read [8]
I like it! It has to be short so they're not expecting you to convey every facet of your personality, so I don't think it needs as much work as you think it does. You did give examples of not conforming, like not liking hip-hop music (which the admissions officers will probably appreciate).
If you want to add more, maybe you can tie in something about how you don't conform to high school social groupings by being friends with nerds and partiers alike. But only if you're under the word limit and if it actually applies to your life.
It's good though - you're braver than me to call yourself a partier in your essay but I think Stanford will like that, so good for you!
I still have to write this essay and I have no idea what to talk about, but you did a good job of describing yourself.
I like it! It has to be short so they're not expecting you to convey every facet of your personality, so I don't think it needs as much work as you think it does. You did give examples of not conforming, like not liking hip-hop music (which the admissions officers will probably appreciate).
If you want to add more, maybe you can tie in something about how you don't conform to high school social groupings by being friends with nerds and partiers alike. But only if you're under the word limit and if it actually applies to your life.
It's good though - you're braver than me to call yourself a partier in your essay but I think Stanford will like that, so good for you!
I still have to write this essay and I have no idea what to talk about, but you did a good job of describing yourself.
cattiesim
Dec 23, 2009
Undergraduate / "dance my worries away" - stanford supplement: letter to roommate [6]
I've been having trouble myself with this question - great response!
I like your essay quite a lot, though I would change/nix the sentence "protect me from the predators that are the real world" because it sounds a bit dramatic, or like you're one of those people afraid to leave the house because the world is too scary, etc. At least taking out the word "predators" would make it better. That's the only part that bothered me when I read your essay.
Besides that, I think this essay is a great response to this question!
I've been having trouble myself with this question - great response!
I like your essay quite a lot, though I would change/nix the sentence "protect me from the predators that are the real world" because it sounds a bit dramatic, or like you're one of those people afraid to leave the house because the world is too scary, etc. At least taking out the word "predators" would make it better. That's the only part that bothered me when I read your essay.
Besides that, I think this essay is a great response to this question!