Undergraduate / "Why don't you try something your own league?" Brown best advice essay. [4]

What is the best piece of advice you have received and why? BROWN

As I peeled open the letter, my heart racing, fingers trembling, my mind wandered off to the possibilities that lay in this envelope. For the past six weeks, I had been waiting for this letter that held my fate-whether or not I had been accepted to a special magnet school. Never wanting anything so badly before, I had poured my heart and soul into the application and was fully confident that with my own abilities and skills, I would make it, even if the school was one of the most prestigious. Pulling out the letter, my eyes skimmed the first few lines. "It is with regret that we are unable to offer you admission." My heart fell, tears streaming down my eyes.

Seeking comfort from my brother, I then received the most influential advice ever given to me. "Why don't you try something your own league?" My tears stopped, my head swirling around those words for the next few days. When my own brother doubted my abilities to achieve something great, I wondered what was "in my league?" I realized that only I can determine what was in my league, and it depended on how dedicated and determined I was. Instead of wallowing in self-pity over rejection, I made a resolution. To prove my brother and anyone who doubted my abilities wrong, I would become the best at everything I do. . So I started studying harder than my classmates, practicing my flute more than others, and staying hours after school ended participating in extracurricular activities even after teachers had left. Those words of discouragement encouraged me that there is nothing that I can not do as long as I am determined and never give up.

When I initially got my rejection letter, I wanted to curl up in my bed, forget about it, and just get by the next couple of years of school. But with those disparaging words, I thought that even though I may have been rejected, that does not mean that I can not rise above to achieve even greater things. When one door closes, another always opens. Even though I lost the chance to attend the magnet school, a whole other world of opportunities opened up, and with my determination, any of them is possible.

I have the ideas down, but I can't get them to flow very well. Any ideas?