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Posts by guitarbfour
Joined: Dec 26, 2009
Last Post: Dec 26, 2009
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From: United States of America

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Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Mac essay-Macalester College supplement about diversity [6]

no, I just didn't see it on the app.
For the first time in my life, I left home alone for a month to learn English in a strange city. - Awkward phrasing

I had intended to improve my English there - you already explain this. Leave it out.

take out the names of the people and possibly the ethnic groups

Have a better last sentence. It's cliche and general right now

I like how you guys all bond over food. The sentence at the beginning is utterly beautiful. Are you applying from abroad? Hope to see you at Mac!
Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / "the department stores on Fifth Avenue" - Williams Essay [6]

RequiredImagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.

I remember that afternoon long ago when my father took me to the department stores on Fifth Avenue. It was one of those cold days that you see in cheesy holiday movies, the type of cold that warms you, the type of cold that lets you press your nose up against the glass and leave a soft imprint. There was a crowd of people clustered around Saks, staring into a tall window that was lit up with Christmas lights. We pushed our way into the crowd and my dad lifted me up on his shoulders. I blew into the window and a soft mist settled over the scene that I saw. There were miniature Santa Claus figurines bejeweled with plastic gems, synthetic elves sledding along a track, their movements mechanical in nature, all dancing to "Let it Snow" in a proscribed rhythm.

Maybe I should have been outraged. I am Jewish, and nowhere in the window display was there a golden menorah hanging up high, or Maccabees waving their swords to "Dreidel, Dreidel". That would have been absurd. And yet I felt just as home in that one moment, staring at the imagery of a foreign religion, as I do sitting in my synagogue praying (I'm not particularly observant but I certainly have a strong sense of faith).

We all belong to a number of communities throughout our lives, some because of common interests or beliefs that we share, others for seemingly arbitrary reasons. For me, the communities I feel closest to are the ones where there is a heterogeneous blend of people, communities where I can provide a different perspective rather than reinforcing one. Being different in a crowd only helps me reinforce my beliefs, and forces me to back them up, rather than blindly following them.

Looking back on the crowd below me, I saw people of all religions, races, ages, and genders, all united around this holiday that had become so secularized that it was quintessentially American. And for a moment, I felt ok being one of them.