Undergraduate / 'different cultural background' - Equity and community-Lehigh supplement [5]

I'm writing my Lehigh essay too, isn't this too long to be submitted? You only have 1000 characters.

Undergraduate / Lehigh Supplemental Essays-Why Lehigh and Community and Equity in the 21st cent. [4]

I think you should start off the essay with a thesis to introduce what you're going to talk about instead of just diving into your definitions from the get-go. I also think you should play around with some of the sentence structures; Instead of saying "My definition of this is...", find new ways to introduce your definition.