Writing Feedback / Persuasive Essay Abu Graib Prison Camp-Need Help [NEW]

I need help, I am a very WEAK writer.

No prisoner should ever feel mortally violated and striped from humanity. When most people think of human beings in prison, they have vivid schemata from how people describe prison, or have seen prison on television, or through the eyes of the media. The picture is that of a small concrete, sterile, cell. The prisoner dressed in a crisp clean jumpsuit. The guards treat the prisoners with respect, not prejudice against the acts that the prisoner conducted, that landed him/her in prison. I don't think that anyone sets out to be incarcerated, but I assumed those that are incarcerated are treated with respect. In the years that have past, I am sure that prisoners did endure quite a bit of torture, but not in today's world. New laws have been passed, here in America, and also overseas with-in North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). Those that violate human rights would be stiffly punished. Perhaps that is why the world was appalled in Sept. 04, when pictures of the prisoners of Abu Graib Prison, in Iraq, started circulating.

Abu Graib was known to be a tough prison camp, which held 7,000 prisoners at a time. One guard was assigned 75 prisoners. The proxcimity was extremely close. The prisoners were Iraq citizen, of Iraq culture, that did not welcome the United States invasion. In Sept of 2003, General Jeff Miller was sent to Abu Graib from his current assignment in Guantanamo Bay, prison camp. General Miller was sent by Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld wanted Miller to update interrogation techniques. Gen. Miller introduced new techniques to Sgt. Grainer, which included having the prisoners occupy their cells naked with panties on top of their heads. Prisoners occupied cells in groups of 15. All prisoners at camp were naked.

Sleep deprivation was also introduced by Gen. Miller. Prisoners slept for 2 hours, and then were awaken with cold water poured upon them. Prisoners were then forced to stay awake for 5 hours, and then allowed to sleep for 15 minutes, and then awaken with cold water, and the cycle would start over again. During this time of sleep deprivation, loud music was played to the maximum level over loud speakers.

Graner felt that by torturing the prisoners he was in obedience from his higher ranking General. Graner started to question how he was treating the prisoners and the ordering other soldier to treat the prisoners, when he received a letter of merit for his performance from Gen. Miller. Gen. Miller sent a Letter of Merit to Graner, stating "You are doing a fine job in tier 1. Continue to perform to this level and we will succeed in our overall mission." This letter was the turning point when prisoner torture was pushed to the next level.

Upson receiving the letter of merit, Sgt. Graner started demanding more intense and harsh abuse of his soldiers. The soldiers had to desensitize themselves. Gen. Miller is quilt of individualism, in my opinion. He should have thought about how these prisoners felt.

There were many forms of abuse that was documented in Abu Ghraib prison camp. Guards would tie a belt around the neck of the prisoner as to symbolize that they were as low a dog in the prison. They could be treated a low as possible. Graner ordered 9 prisoners to masturbate and then made them form themselves into a tightly formed human pyramid, while naked. Prisoners were also forced to place bags on their heads, and had attack dogs attack them viciously. The prisoners would then lie in their blood, and be drug back to their cell. A trail of blood would follow.

The soldiers succumbed to prejudice. American soldiers held themselves in high social dominance orientation. They felt that they were in Iraq fighting for our country, however, there were no laws for them to abide by, only humiliate the foreign prisoners, and make them feel dead.

Research Papers / There are two different kinds of animal testing; Final position paper- Animal Rights [NEW]

I need major help and feedback.

Here are my teachers requirements:
Your Final Position Paper will be a 1000-1200 word essay (not including works cited or title pages) that meets the following requirements:

Here is my essay:

In today's world we should not still be using Laboratory Animals for Testing. The Government has completed hundreds of tests through out the years, and there has been very dismal proof that conducting the animal testing benefits us humans.

To better understand how we as humans have become so adherent to Animal Rights, let's take a look back in our history. Animals were merely a part of our food chain at the start of time, and then we needed hunting animals to hunt larger animals that would supply our families with more meat for our consumption. Years later, we needed animals such as cattle, horses, elephants, etc as a means of transportation by land and to help lighten the human workload. Years later it was infact possible to keep pets and/or companions. At the start of civilization we did need animals as a source of food and clothing. That was at the beginning of times and a decade or two ago. Now we have animals as companions, they are no longer pets. They are members of our families; they are valuable, and loved. These are the new times of animals, they are our family members, and we want to look out for every animal on earth. Animal rights needs to be addressed and stronger government guidelines need to be enforced.

There are two different kinds of animal testing. The first Animal experimentation, which entails that the laboratory animal may only have a minute or so of pain or discomfort. Surgical interventions are performed under anesthesia. The second is vivisection, which is the most inhumane testing performed. Vivisection is when the laborite's animal is not put under a y kind of anesthesia. The testing is conducted with the animal awake and feeling the enormous amount of pain. Vivisection is when they cut into the animal, without anesthesia or numbing agents.

This is why there are so many outraged animal rights activists that are involved in the utmost extreme groups. Humans are distinctly different from animals, organ wise. How can we test animals with drugs that we as humans are going to use, when our anatomy is totally different from each other. It would be much more logical to conduct "in vitro" testing on cloned tissue made up of human cells. Scientists can do experiments on isolated organs, tissues, cells or sub cellular structures. Animal donors can also be used in experiments. If the laboratory testers could take these avenues, this would cut cost and cut millions that our tax dollars are spending yearly for testing that are deemed useless and void.

Laboratories that conducting old fashioned animal testing are reporting that in fact they are marketing drugs that have shown a great magnitude of success on animals, and then when distributed throughout the pharmacies, they are not having the same outcome with actual humans. Recently, the drug Opren, which is used as an anti-rheumatic, was approved in Britain to be distributed to the pharmaceutical market. The lab animals showed positive results, humans didn't have such a lucky outcome. Opren killed 76 people, and caused serious illness to 3,500 others. This drug was tested and was given the green light to be given to humans, only to waste time and tax payer's dollars. Another prime example is what role animal testing played in delaying the highly effective anti- HIV therapies. There was a 4 year hold up, primary only because scientist decided to use lab dog and rats. They all died, so it delayed the drug therapy 4 years to get out to patients. When it did get out, it was the same therapy used on the dogs and rats that died, yet humans are showing positive results. Peter Tatchell has reported that A majority of the diseases we suffer are unique to our species. Cures are most likely to be found by studying the physiology of human beings, not other animals. We here in the United States need to take a good look at how the Government officials handle animal testing in the UK. The Government mandates the Laboratories to ensure that testing is conducted only when there is no other choice, or no other proven method in testing a certain drug. In the UK, they have a special Police task force that inspects Laboratories, to make sure that the lab animals are treated in very humane conditions. Also, in the UK, there is no tolerance for animal extremist violence acts against individuals, companies or any third party organization. This is fairly a new crack down on Animal Rights, but a Crack down that we should take a good look into.

Animal activists are definitely a breed of their own. If you know someone that is an active member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), then you know what I'm talking about. PETA is a very strong organization, renowned for its strident rhetoric and hardball tactics according to Sen. Bob Smith. Peta has been wonderful in gaining Animal Rights attention. Unfortunately, PETA has gained attention for the vicious acts members have campaigned on research facilities, and street protests, and harsh targeting on the fur industry. That is why the United States needs to take a good look at the Animal Rights plan the UK has implemented. It would be a compromise to both sides of the fight for and against Animal Rights. Everyone interest's would be protected.

Our government needs to take a better look at the possible outcome of marketing drugs that are deemed safe for animals. Research has proven that what works for them, does not necessarily work for us. I think that it is a waste of government tax dollars to keep conducting these tests, when the future results are so questionable. We need to also take a look at what we can learn from other countries that have had significant amounts of success with trying to tame both sides of the realm.

References

Tatchell, P. (2004, 8/9). Why animal research is bad science [Electronic version]. New Statesman, 133(4700), 18-19. .
Kim, G. (2006, 3/20). . Maclean's, 119(12), P38-38. Retrieved 22 April 2006.

Pet Causes. National Journal, 32(1), 32.

Writing Feedback / Comparison Essay- Italian food and restaurants [4]

Comparison Essay

My teacher said that I need a lot of work on this. I really don't know where to start, she said that this is a "D" paper. She has given me time to revise.

I would appreciate any help.

Thank you,
Dee

Not all Italian restaurants serve the same Italian style food or provide the same atmosphere for their customers. Olive Garden is a nice Italian restaurant that serves its purpose of satisfying your taste buds of wanting an Italian fix. The service is either steady and fast or down right slow. If you do not time your dinner just right, you could wait 1 - 2 hours just to get seated. If you are craving Italian it will cure the fix, but not leave you wanting to come back the next day for a repeat. The menu has brightly colored pictures of what the entrée will look like and that is reassuring for someone like me that does not like to take a risk of trying the unknown. The setting is either booths or tables that are very clean with crisply folded linen napkins and festive Italian music playing through out the restaurant. When prepared well, the food tastes very good but all of the food has the same taste. The employees here seem to just be there for the paycheck, they don't seem excited by their job. The prices are very reasonable with most entrees costing around $12.00-$14.00. I will continue to go to Olive Garden when I crave Italian and I am near the restaurant. Compared to real Italian food, Olive Garden can be compared to McDonalds for American food. We tend to call Olive Garden, McItalian.

D'Giovonni's is so much more relaxing and the food is authentic unlike Olive Garden. Reservations are allowed, so there is really never a wait to get in. The food melts in your mouth. The food taste so good that you want to take your time and savor every bite. The portions are double of that of any other restaurant. There is always another left over for lunch and dinner for the following day. The setting is small and along the waters edge, so there is a scenic view so those that are done eating tend to stay around for awhile just to take in the breath taking views of the boats coming in and out of dock. The tables are covered in maroon linens with candles set in the middle of each table. Every employee takes a special pride in their job at D'Giovonni's and it clearly shows. The owner comes out and personally goes around to each table to see if you are pleased with the service and the food. The employee's seem happy to be there to assist you and if you want to make an adjustment to an entrée that is on the menu they will do their best to accommodate you, even if this means bringing out the chief who is from Italy to talk to you personally. You would think since the chief is from Italy the food would be more expensive. However, that is not the case; the food ranges from $14.00-$18.00 per entrée. Considering the experience of the chief I think the cost is a steal. You get an amazing meal and you get to take in amazing sunsets on the Chesapeake Bay.

Writing Feedback / School lunches today - Illustration essay [3]

Am I going in the right direction with this? This is my illustration rough draft.

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Illustration Essay needs to be turned into formal

How can I turn this around to be a Formal essay? Thank you so much, Deana.

I wrote this and turned it in, and didn't realize that it needed to be formal.

Illustration Essay

Today's School Lunches: A disappointment

School lunches today are not as hearty and delicious as they were in years past. When I was a child school lunches were homemade. Maybe not homemade, but the lunches were prepared at school by the cafeteria workers. Today, the cafeteria workers heat up the already prepared food. Today's food is prepared by means of "nuking" it in the microwave, or heated up in the oven. The article, "Cookin'It up Old School, written by Tom Philpott has a graphic and true description of what school lunches look like today. Philpott says," ...budget constraints mean food must be reheated on site, not cooked from scratch. The State Journal describes the resulting eating ritual: "Students peel plastic from the main dish plate, from the side dish plate, from the "spork" and napkin, and from the straw." Most food today has no specific taste that would clearly distinguish what it truly is. I am assuming that the food has no taste because it was prepackaged then precooked and then heated up again, so that the kids have warm food.

When I was a child the mashed potatoes and turkey dinner were the best. I remember all of my friends and I being so excited when turkey dinner day was approaching. The mashed potatoes were real with lumps and all. The turkey was a real turkey, not fake or processed. That is not the case today. Just last week, I saw that turkey dinner was on the menu for school lunch. I thought "yummy"! I went to school for the infamous "Turkey Dinner." I went to the front desk and signed in. As I was signing my name, I was greeted by a teacher that I know. She asked me if I had brought lunch in. She then started to tell me about the dreadful turkey dinner. She said, "This is not the "Grand Turkey Dinner" that we had as kids." I just laughed at her thoughts and went in to try for myself. The turkey was processed chunks of whitish colored meat. This meat was floating in brownish colored gravy. This gravy tasted like it was mostly water with maybe brown food coloring added in. I still can not come up with a description of the potatoes, but I can tell you that potatoes are not what this white fluffy stuff tasted like. The food tasted horrible, and the portions were scant.

I can remember when I was a young girl in school; I never was hungry at any point throughout the day. The portions were healthy portions. You were given healthy portions of all the food that was offered for lunch. There was more variety in our choices. We had a choice of 2 vegetables and 2 starches. I can remember when chicken nuggets were served, we received 6 nuggets. The nuggets were along the size of the nuggets served at McDonalds. Today, the portions are more of "micro" portions. The portions are extremely small and kids are not satisfied throughout the day. Children today are allowed 4 mini nuggets with a choice of corn or carrots. You can have a mini side salad along with your lunch. That is all good for kids that eat salads. Not all kids are salad eaters, and those kids are the ones that suffer throughout the day. Not only the non-salad eaters but kids that are "picky" with their eating habits. I have one of those kids myself.

I am fully aware that the schools are tying to cut down on obesity. The school is trying to cut the portions to not promote obesity. I just wonder how many kids today are in school and lunch at school is the only source of food that they get. These are the kids that I am worried about. I know when my son gets home from school, he has a snack waiting for him. If he doesn't have much for lunch or some days he says that lunch is nasty and he refuses to eat, he still has food at home waiting for him. I would imagine that there are a few kids that have nothing waiting for them. These are the kids that I want to help.

School lunches today will never be as good as they were when I was a school girl. I think that the school could work a little harder to purchase food that tastes better. I also think that it would not be such a bad idea to let the cafeteria workers go back to fixing homemade food, instead of preparing express food for the students. I also think that larger proportions would be beneficial to those kids that are needy and reside in significantly low income level areas. I feel that school lunch of the past would make a better alternative to the school lunch of today.

______________

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You,
Deana

Essays / Classification essay on Advertisement; 500-700 words [2]

I have a 500-700 word Classification essay due. I am really not sure how to start. Can someone give me advise?

Thanks,
Deana