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Posts by Mjtorain
Joined: Dec 28, 2009
Last Post: Jan 1, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 6
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Mjtorain   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / UPenn page 217 of my autobiography: Strength of Stature [8]

I think I read over it 1 billion times, too.

Haha, so did I! It makes no sense, but thanks again.

And yea QiMin, Napoleon had nothing on me. Thanks for reading, and I'll definitely return the favor.
Mjtorain   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / UPenn page 217 of my autobiography: Strength of Stature [8]

Thank you so much! I'm just stressing and didn't know if it fit the prompt right, AND I submitted a essay yesterday to Yale with a blatant HUGE grammar error, so I'd thought this would prevent that disaster again.
Mjtorain   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / UPenn page 217 of my autobiography: Strength of Stature [8]

UPenn: Summit page 217 of you 300 page autobiography.

"Stand up straight, Maya." My mother whispered into my ear as we sauntered through the Church corridor on a warm Sunday morning, sun beaming through the stained glass windows.

I sheepishly glance at her, embarrassed at my own disheveled state; my dress limply hung as if still dangling on the rusty wire hanger. She looked extraordinary that day, sharply dressed with high cheek bones and a graceful beauty reminiscent of Katherine Hepburn. Following her lead, I quickly smoothed my drooping shoulders back and lifted my head to the sky; the essential elements of proper posture. It is something my mother had told me to do many, many times before, and now, I finally realize why; she did this to simply show me the strength of stature.
Mjtorain   
Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Dangerously High Risk Essay: Yale & Brown [20]

I thought this was clever and funny, but add into the mix some examples that have a bit deeper tone, that give insight to who you really are as a person.

Since your a Penn hopeful as well would you please critic my essay? :)
Mjtorain   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / UPenn Communities Essay... a balance between work and play [4]

I need some constructive criticism... How can I edit this down so I can meet the one page requirement? What should I delete?

Benjamin Franklin established the Union Fire Company, the Library Company of Philadelphia, the American Philosophical Society, Pennsylvania Hospital, and, of course, the charity school that evolved into the University of Pennsylvania. As they served the larger community of Philadelphia, each institution in turn formed its own community.

Which of the academic communities and social communities that now comprise the University of Pennsylvania are most interesting to you and how will you contribute to them and to the larger Penn community?

Maya Angelou, my namesake, once said that "in diversity there is beauty and there is strength." As I strolled down Locust Walk through the bustling University of Pennsylvania campus on a brisk Monday morning, I saw the faces of the world, people of all colors and shades; the community that laid before me was surely one of strength and beauty. Diversity of mind, spirit, and heritage has always been of great importance in my life, and through participation in the Greenfield Intercultural Center and interdisciplinary programs, I will aid in the effort to spread cultural awareness and tolerance and thus help make the University of Pennsylvania as a whole a more beautiful place to be.

Exploring the communities at Penn, I was immediately drawn to the goals of intercultural unity and awareness pursued by the Greenfield Intercultural Center. Though America is often known as the melting pot of the world, it is flawed in what I recognize to be a strong presence of self-segregation. In the lunch room of my high school, this segregation exposes itself visually; it's astonishing to see the stark divisions. We are together in the same cafeteria, yet separated by habitual judgments and mindsets on the issue of race. True diversity will only be attained once we all learn that we are more alike than we are different. This is a message espoused by the Greenfield Intercultural Center. This community helps unite the people of Penn, who come from all different backgrounds and walks of life, and promote a sense of true diversity on the campus. What interests me the most about this community are the intercultural dialogues that it hosts. If people are given an opportunity to simply talk, candidly and openly, to someone of a different ethnicity, powerful change can be made.

To Greenfield Intercultural Center and the greater Penn community, I would contribute my unique insight and experience, and help strengthen the diversity of the school. One program in particular to which I feel I would make a significant impact is that of Alliance and Understanding. This program explores the historical connections between the Black and Jewish communities in an effort to improve relations between the two groups on the Penn campus. As a member of the Elijah Cummings Youth Program in Israel, I have been working towards a similar mission in the city of Baltimore. I traveled to Israel in the summer of my junior year to learn about the origins and similarities between the Christianity and Judaism, and formed lasting friendships with Jews from all over the world. I gained a new perspective and understanding of the two cultures that I would enjoy sharing with the community at Penn.

At UPenn, there is also a freedom of thought that I would love to absorb and soak in. As a girl of many interests and aspirations, ranging from psychology and biology to history and business, the interdisciplinary programs intrigue me. They provide limitless opportunities for research across intertwining areas of study, satisfying my intellectual curiosity. The Biological Basis of Behavior major combines my innate desire to observe and question behavior with an interest in natural sciences. Engaging in this program I would be able to study the relationship of the body and mind on varying levels, exploring life beyond its deceptive surface.

Still more amazing about UPenn is what is found outside the classroom, beyond the academics and late night studying; the diversity of interests. Students have a balance between work and play, and find time to take advantage of the whole college experience, whether it is by tossing a Frisbee or going rock climbing. Personally, I have a passion for sports; specifically track and field. Track is a release for me; I love the spirit, the anxious feeling I get in the pit of my stomach as I line up at the start or prepare to leap over the high jump bar. I plan to join the UPenn Quakers varsity track and field team, contributing my talents and learning from theirs.
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