Undergraduate / BU Supplement, three words: "Determined, ambitious and convivial" [4]

Hi there! Thanks for the comment on my essay.

I'll try my best helping you with yours. :)

If by the 1st paragraph, you mean this one:


then I think you should remove it. It isn't really related to the topic. Moreover, you should not "make an attempt", but just do it trying to appear as confident about what you are about to write as possible, especially since this essay is totally about you. Hope I somehow made my point. :P




I guess, you should change the way you say it. It sounds a little bit...self-centered?? Try maybe: I believe that those qualities would flourish in the ... environment of Boston University. (?)


Err.. I'm not certain what you mean by this. :D

Overall, I think that the essay is good. It answers the topic. Like kiwi90 said, it is concise and to the point. However, it is a little bit too general. Be more specific. You could give some examples for each characteristic/quality.

Hope it helped. Mind having a look at my essay again? Thanks in advance. :)

Undergraduate / Lafayette - intellectual or creative interest or accomplishment [6]

Thank you obituary. It really helped.

Here is the nearly finished essay. (character limit: 2000; it's 1439 right now)

One day, I happened to read an article on Polish economic reform in 1989. It was as if I read a fable; it was too unreal. Just a few decades ago, in a now flourishing country, there was nothing but vinegar on the shop shelves and inflation was closing 700% per year. Living in Poland for 14 years, I experienced first-hand how much the country has changed since then. I started reading more and more, and soon my intrigue of how greatly one decision can affect a nation transformed a mere curiosity about economics into the love of my life.

I love economics because it is a powerful tool for making sense of the modern world and its intricacies. So much can be explained using the knowledge of economics. "Why did the price of my favorite corn flakes suddenly shot up? Why the Vietnamese VTV channel did not buy the copyright to transmit Miss World 2009? " These are only some of millions of questions whose answers derive from economics' use of demand-and-supply analysis.

Not only a fascinating subject, economics also takes full advantage of who I am - a fusion between two different cultures: Asian and European. My understanding of various languages and cultures will be challenged since macroeconomics deals with foreign affairs. I realized that my unique upbringing and experiences can evolve a potential in economics into a success in business world; I could climb up to the very top of the ladder someday, or even better - buy it.

Still thinking about the conclusion. Argh! I'm having a temperature right now, so I just can't think clearly. :(

However, I do think this essay still lacks something. It would be great if you give me advice on how to improve it or just say what you think about it.

Thank you all in advance!

P.S: Ah, and I really need it fast. Thanks again! :)

Undergraduate / Lafayette - intellectual or creative interest or accomplishment [6]

Thank you. :)
Any more suggestions? I will post the whole answer soon. :D

Undergraduate / "I love rugby" and sport - Common App Personal Essay [8]

OMG! You used my sentence! Haha I am flattered. However, I'm not certain if it's grammatically correct (since English is not my mother tongue :P) so please check it.

About the last sentence, I think you should somehow mention rugby again like, I don't know, Passion initiated by rugby has been the fuel... ?

But I noticed that it's 149 word long already. So how about cutting out some words? (I REALLY think that you should mention rugby in the last sentence.)


Cross out one or the other. Maybe "passion" because you used it in the next sentence.

You need to delete another word to fit in the word limit. Oh, here!


Delete "that I had". It doesn't provide the reader with more info => unnecessary.


I don't really get this one. "Learn and love whatever I do"? Can you say "learn whatever I do"?? I guess you meant "learn TO love whatever I do". :)


Sorry for bugging you, but I didn't understand the "these areas" part. Which areas? School? Whatever you do? Again, sorry, but it's past 2am here and I'm kinda sleepy. Heheh

Overall, it's much better than the 1st one. But who am I to judge? :D
Anyway, GOOD LUCK!

Ah, and please help me with my essay. My deadline is right around the corner; everything is ready but the supplement essay. I am just incapable of writing/thinking, for myself at least :D , right now. :(

Thanks in advance! :D

Undergraduate / "I love rugby" and sport - Common App Personal Essay [8]

The thing is I don't know what are you trying to say. And since it's a short answer (only 150 words allowed), every sentence should have a clear erm... "purpose" so that you don't waste space on saying nothing. :P

Anyway, here are some suggestions.


Although you wrote this, but you didn't develop this idea later in the essay. How did rugby taught you dedication? How did you learn how to be passionate about things?

Question: Do you intend to write about dedication, trust AND passion that you learned while playing rugby? If yes, then I advise you - DON'T. There isn't enough space to write about them all.

If you just wanted to stress the idea that beside this and this, rugby also taught you passion, then just change the wording. For example: The most important thing that rugby taught me, beside dedication and trust, is passion. Or just don't mention dedication and trust at all. It will save you some valuable space. :)


I think you should delete this. I know it's not unusual to dislike a teacher (I personally hated my chemistry teacher in middle school... and vice versa <LOL>), but I don't think it's wise to mention it.

I hope it helped.
Good luck! :D