Undergraduate / Pomona Supplement - My Deformed Finger [5]

"That is the anthem of my life."
anthem?! an anthem is defined as a song of devotion or loyalty (as to a nation or school).

please change that to motto or maxim or goal or something else!! as the last sentence of your essay it should definitely not leave a bad impression with a poor word choice!

plus the order of that sentence is odd. i would normally say "This is my _____ in life."

Undergraduate / Duke University Engineering Essay [4]

I forgot about the incident until about a week later, when I started to wonder how pushing one gear back into place could have repaired the robot so easily. To answer my questions, I turned to both my local library and my father. From the library I got books with titles like "How Things Work." From my father (who was (is he retired now?) an ultrasound engineer), I got explanations and engineering common sense. those last 3 sentences could use some work :/

Many books and lectures later, I wasam no longer so ignorant of how things worked.

on the whole, quite a good essay. great visuals, i love the whole magic/wonder theme.

Undergraduate / Cornell Engineering: One of your engineering idea and haw will Cornell help you [6]

i would not say cornelliana. that last sentence just seems unnecessary.